What? Part 1
by dinkydow
Summary: Fifth still wants revenge.
1. Default Chapter

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Title: "What?" Part I of the "What Fools These Mortals Be Sequence"

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Author: dinkydow

Email: 

Category: Sequel to "What Fools These Mortals Be", Romance, AU, Action/Adventure, angst, hurt/comfort

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Pairings: Jack/Sam

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Rating: R

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Season: Season 8

Spoilers: Small ones for"Abyss", "New Order", and "Zero Hour"

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Warnings: Violence and suggestive language.

Summary: Fifth still wants revenge.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.

Author's Notes: It would also help if you read my previous "Ricochet" Series. Words in italics are the person's thoughts. Many thanks to Jolene, Linda, and Alice for keeping me focused and being my betas for this one. You may have noticed that I went so far as to label this as a "romance". Please, don't tell my Mom, as she would probably die laughing.

The unusual-looking space ship came out of hyperdrive in the target star system and immediately went into stealth mode. Thus, preventing any unwanted interference from the inhabitants living there. Within moments, it had achieved orbit around the only planet that supported life.

The vessel's commander communicated his commands to his crew with an economy of movement. With a mere nod of his head and a shifting of his cold dark eyes, the ship adjusted its orbit and positioned itself over the northern continent. All was in readiness, and his brothers moved like a well-oiled machine, anticipating his commands almost before he needed to give them. The commander smiled, but it was humorless, a mere stretching of lips that bared too-perfect teeth in a jarringly boyish face.

The quarry had been located. It was time to proceed with the beam-up sequence.

General Jack O'Neill felt like he was in heaven as he stared up at the stars. No work to do, or at least none that couldn't safely be put off until tomorrow, a two-day weekend ahead of him, and a cloudless sky. He sighed in contentment as he scooted his stool up closer to the telescope standing on its tripod in front of him.

He'd been looking forward to this all day, '_hell. . . all damned week, for crying out loud!'_

As soon as he'd been able to sneak away from the efficient, but oh so annoying Walter, he'd made his escape from the clutches of Cheyenne Mountain. Straight up to his rooftop observatory so he could put in some quality stargazing time. Too many times lately, he'd had to forgo this particular pleasure. Now, there was nothing standing in his way.

Once he'd gotten home, he'd shucked off his work clothes and gotten into some comfortable leisure ones. Long-sleeved flannel shirt, a light jacket, baggy jeans and boots made up his ensemble. Rubbing his hands together to warm them, he sighed in pleasure. The crisp autumn air of Colorado was just cool enough to get his blood pumping without the danger of frostbite while he studied the stars all night. Though he would need to put his gloves on soon. First, he had some adjustments to make, and they would be easier to accomplish without the encumbering gloves.

He leaned forward, squinting as he adjusted the lens of the telescope. A sudden noise, a crackling sound, made him jerk back in surprise. "What the…?"

He got no further, as a bright light surrounded his body, bathing it in surreal brilliance. When it blinked out, only the telescope was left, staring blindly out at the black night.

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter was enjoying her hot shower. It had been a particularly grueling week, what with all the new experiments she'd been running in the hopes of improving the efficiency of the Stargate dial-up system at Stargate Command. She knew General O'Neill had already made his escape, as she'd seen him sneaking onto the elevator over an hour ago, and she was planning to do the same, just as soon as she finished her shower. Sure, she could've waited until she went home to do it, but the base showers never ran short of hot water. Unlike the one she had back at home.

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'Just a final rinse-off and then you're home free, _Samantha_,_'_ thought to herself as she ducked her head under the water for one last time. Then, she reached out to shut it off, shaking her hands and watching as the droplets went flying, spattering against the tile. Her bare skin glistened as minute streams of water ran down her back, merged at her buttocks, and then dripped onto the shower floor.

She snagged her towel and proceeded to dry off, wrapping another one around her wet hair, turban-style. She wouldn't bother with the hair dryer this time, knowing from experience that her short blonde hair would be dry by the time she reached the cool air on the surface. '_Yet another reason for keeping your hair short,' _she mused.

Humming, she padded on bare feet out of the shower room and headed toward her locker. Dropping the wet towels in the dirty clothes hamper, she reached into her open locker and grabbed her civvies. Tonight it would be a blue knit top, blue jeans, and slip on shoes. Although like any female she loved to play dress-up, she would choose comfortable clothes any day of the week. Hands down.

A sudden crackling nose made her look around in confusion, clutching her clothing to her bare breasts. The bright shaft of light caught her unaware. When the light disappeared, Carter was gone.

Far above the planet Earth, the spacecraft left orbit. Its mission accomplished, there was no need to remain near this technologically inferior planet. Although its position had been betrayed with the beam-up of the two targets, it was impervious to further detection while in stealth mode. The vessel cruised past the outer planets until it made the jump to hyperdrive.

When Jack regained consciousness, he couldn't figure out what had happened. In the darkness, he could make out . . . nothing. Zip, nada. Rolling onto his back, he carefully felt along his body to check for any damage that might have occurred while he'd been out. Just because he didn't hurt didn't necessarily mean that he hadn't been. All too often, a heavy dose of adrenaline could hide a host of ills. He'd learned that one the hard way. Never mind how.

An initial check revealed no gaping wounds or missing limbs, which had to be a plus, he supposed. The next step would be the kicker. He placed his arm under his body in preparation for sitting up. '_So far, so good.'_ He grunted as he pushed out with his arm, which left him seated with his legs spread out before him.

Other than the fact that he felt like his head was host to a rendition of the 1812 Overture, he felt fine. Of course, his stomach wanting to crawl out of his mouth wasn't good, but, hey, he'd felt that way so many times before that it'd begun to feel normal. In a sick sort of way.

He rummaged through his most recent memories in an attempt to figure out what had happened. The last thing he could remember was sitting in front of his telescope. . .and he'd heard a weird noise. Then, nothing. Zip.

Based on all the evidence, and granted it wasn't a whole hell of a lot, he could come to only one conclusion. '_Someone must've kidnapped your ass…again, Jack. Crap. This kind of snatch-and-grab shit was so not on your schedule. Good ole Radar O'Walter will have a fit!'_

He slowed his breathing, evening it out as he opened his mouth to keep the sandwich he'd had for dinner from making a reappearance. A groan from the other side of wherever the hell he was caught his attention and he turned his head toward the sound.

He thought that groan sounded familiar. _'Nah, it couldn't be. Could it?'_ He sniffed the air, experimentally. _'Just a hint of vanilla mixed with that special something that couldn't be duplicated. Yep, that's my Sam, all right.'_

The sound repeated, only louder this time. "Carter!"

Another groan. He scooted slowly over the floor on his butt, sliding his hands carefully over the rough tiles on the floor, feeling his way through the darkness as he went. "Talk to me, Carter!" No answer.

He rolled onto his hands and knees and crawled the rest of the way until his hand encountered skin. Soft warm skin. He moved his hand in exploration. Lots of soft warm skin. _'Sam's soft warm skin.'_

He rocked backward onto his butt in shock. "Crap!"

"Sir?"

"Carter!"

He crawled back to her side, very careful about where he put his hands. Didn't want her to bite him, after all. Then again, all that nice, soft skin. . . '_Keep your mind and your hands to yourself, Jack. You just might live longer that way,'_ he chastised himself. _'She's spoken for, Jack. Remember?'_

"What?" her voice sounded groggy.

He leaned toward her. "Careful how you move, Carter. Whatever they used on us must've been pretty strong. It gave me one hell of a headache."

"You can say that again, Sir." The sound of smacking lips and movement made him grin.

"You okay?" He listened for her response.

"I think so, Sir. You're right about the headache, though."

He heard a startled gasp out of the darkness and then a very puzzled feminine voice. "Sir? Where are my clothes?"

"You mean you're. . .?" '_Oh my!'_ "Don't look at me, Carter. I didn't take 'em." '_Not that I haven't thought about it,'_ he thought with dark humor.

"Listen, can I help you find your stuff?" Then, realizing how that had sounded, he tried again. "Your clothes, Carter. I meant your clothes." He could feel his cheeks turning fire-engine red.

He wanted to help out. Really he did, but there was the matter of not being able to see, and her being naked. And his oh so vivid imagination. The possible scenarios whipped through his brain, causing his blood pressure to skyrocket. Among other things. Gulp. Talk about a pickle in his pocket!

Being in complete darkness might not be such a bad thing after all. He might live longer that way.

"No! Stay where you are, Sir. Wait, I think I found something." Hands, not his, felt along his leg and thigh.

"What you found was me, Carter. And, if you don't move your hand, my side arm will most definitely go off." He removed the hand and set it firmly back on the floor. Albeit, with a whole honkin' shitload of regret. '_About a lot of things. Don't go there, Jack. She's made her choice, and it wasn't you. Now is so not the time to get all teary about what might have been.'_

The lights chose that moment to come on, shining a harsh glare over them. Jack winced, and rubbed his eyes as they adjusted to the sudden brightness.

When he opened them, he saw Carter. All of her. She was sitting not a foot from where he was, looking back at him. '_So that's where that mole is.'_

Only one word came to his mind. . .and out past his lips. "Wow!"

Blue eyes widened as they locked with his. Then her delicate hands moved to cover strategic areas. "Sir? You can close your mouth now."

Jack averted his gaze in haste, peeled off his jacket and hoisted it blindly toward his embarrassed friend. "Here, Carter. Put this on for now. At least until we can find something more for you to wear."

He kept his head turned, mentally whistling inside his head in a vain attempt to distract him from the very tempting spectacle sitting not a foot away from him. '_So near, yet so far away. Crap.'_

He stood, and looked around, hoping to find some clues as to their captors or at the very least some clothes for Carter. Plus, it just might distract him and prevent a very painful demise at the hands of a certain outraged and embarrassed female.

The sounds of rustling fabric and a sliding zipper caught his attention. He began his turn, and then stopped, uncertain. "Ya decent, Carter?"

"I think so, Sir." A sudden gasp of surprise came from behind him. "I think I've found something."

With great fortitude of spirit, he refused to allow himself to speculate on just what it was that she'd found. "And?"

"My clothes, Sir. I found the rest of my clothes." He could hear her shuffling her feet, as if she were nervous.

"Great, that's just great, Carter." No response came from the female behind him. '_That couldn't be good. Could it?'_

"No, it isn't, Sir. I mean. . .I'm glad I found my clothes, but that's not all I discovered. Take a look around you and I think you'll understand what I mean."

For the first time since he'd awakened, Jack took the time to take a good look at his surroundings. At first glance, the walls and floor appeared to be made of some kind of metallic blocks. An ugly suspicion wormed itself into his brain, and banished all previous thoughts of a naked Carter.

He knelt on the floor and ran his hand along the rough blocks. "Well, ain't this just peachy!" His hand jerked away from the blocks as if contaminated.

"The entire cell is made of Replicator blocks, Sir. Just like when Fifth had us before. And Thor used your weapon from the Ancients to destroy them. Remember?" Hearing her move toward him, he automatically turned to face her.

"How could I forget, Carter? Being captured by bug people isn't exactly something that you can forget. At least I can't. So, I guess we can rule out Thor and Ernie as being the ones responsible for our enforced holiday." He smiled.

She'd changed into some blue jeans and a knit top that matched the color of her eyes. He always did like blue, he decided. He couldn't help but wonder if she had on any underwear. Judging from the way her top looked, she didn't have a bra on. A part of his brain, the logical part, knew this line of speculation was kind of ludicrous considering that they'd been kidnapped by bug people and didn't know where the hell they were. It was a certainty his hormones were going to get him killed some day, distracting him like this.

Sam chuckled. "I think that would be a safe bet." She cocked her head to one side in question. "What do you remember about all this? The last thing I remember is that I'd finished up my shower on base and had grabbed my clothes out of my locker. Then. . .nothing. What about you, Sir?"

"Me? Oh, I was up on my roof looking through my telescope at the most awesome sky. I remember hearing a weird crackling noise, then bam. I woke up here, in the dark." He shrugged.

"You can have your jacket back, Sir," she added almost as an afterthought.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure, thanks. Although, I have the feeling I won't be needing it real soon, looks like the weather doesn't change much in here." He accepted his jacket from Sam's hands and jumped when an electric tingle signaled that their hands had brushed against one another. Her blue eyes widened as they met his, then looked away.

All further thought was postponed by an all-too-familiar rustling, chirping noise from the wall behind Carter. "Shh," he cautioned, one finger to his lips. Then without thought, he stepped in front of her.

For several heartbeats, nothing happened. Then the wall seemed to melt, and a humanoid figure stepped through the wall. The blocks reconnected behind him as he walked up to his two prisoners, a smile stretching his lips.

Fifth didn't offer to shake their hands. Not that Jack would've taken him up on it. Jack and Sam backed away from the menace warily. He stopped when he heard Sam's gasp. He spun around, and then stopped in amazement. He blinked, not believing what his eyes told him, for he was face to face with. . .himself. Another Jack O'Neill.

"For crying out loud!"

Samantha Carter looked at her Commander, Jack O'Neill, and then back at his duplicate. Her Jack's mouth hung open in amazement, and she marveled that it would take something like this to render him speechless. Which was kind of scary, when she thought about it.

After all, her Jack, that's how she had come to think of him, wasn't afraid of anything, being the very definition of the man with no fear. He'd literally laughed at death when he'd mocked Ba'al; the Goa'uld who'd tortured him to death and back again.

Standing up to him, he'd thrown his disdain back in the System Lord's face. She'd heard about it and wished that she'd been there to witness it. But she hadn't been there, and he'd thought Ba'al had her, Daniel, and Teal'c. He'd done it for them, and she knew it.

Did that make her a helpless simpering female, clinging onto her manly hero? She didn't think so. What it did make her was smart. Smart enough to recognize and appreciate her commanding officer's strong points. In the time that it took her to figure out that the situation was going to Netu in a hand basket, her Jack had already figured out a solution to the whole mess. She'd seen it happen time and time again.

And as for those who made the mistake of thinking that she was nothing more than a helpless female. . . The last Marine who'd made that mistake was still undergoing reconstructive dental surgery, the last she heard. It wasn't her fault that the moron had a glass jaw.

Now, Sam feared her Jack had met his match. Vague thoughts of what this could mean to her, to him, flitted through her mind, like sparks of energy in a reactor, endlessly separating and then combining in infinite combinations and permutations. After sifting through all the evidence, she could only come to one conclusion. They were in deep trouble.

Her eyes widened as the wall in front of her shifted, then melted as individual Replicator blocks formed into chirping metallic insects. Through the opening stepped an additional surprise. Once the figure had stepped through, the wall reformed, leaving it flat and impenetrable.

It was Sam's turn to gape as her twin walked toward her, and then stood stock-still. Sam couldn't believe what she was seeing. The ramifications of what Fifth had done was mind-boggling, and for a moment she studied her double in awe.

Both were dressed like Fifth, in steel-gray tops and pants, black domino-like blocks scattered haphazardly over them. She couldn't help but wonder if their clothes were made of miniature Replicators. Through narrowed eyes, she scrutinized them, looking for flaws in their construction. She found none. They were perfect copies, right down to the scar on Jack's eyebrow.

"Jack O'Neill, meet Jay," Fifth smiled as Jack turned his head to look at him dubiously.

"Yeah, well, I'll pass on shaking hands, if you don't mind." O'Neill locked eyes with his double as Jay smirked.

"Ah, where are my manners? Samantha Carter, may I introduce Ess," Fifth continued, acting the solicitous host.

"Holy, Hannah!" she blurted. Her double blinked back at her and smiled with the same face she saw every time she looked in a mirror. This was just too weird.

"Well, if it isn't Bug Boy and his evil techno-twins." Jack crossed his arms, standing shoulder to shoulder with Sam. "Looks like you've been tinkering around with your toys again. But, hey, I gotta tell ya. The evil twin gig is one of the oldest clichés in the book, and you know how I hate clichés. So if you don't mind, I'll just call you Thing One, and Thing Two." He gestured first to Jay, then to Ess.

He directed his next words to Fifth. "By the way, I so hope that these two copies are part of a limited edition boxed set, because I so prefer the originals."

Sam smiled. Her Jack was back, in spades, doing his best to distract the danger from her. Just like he always did. At that moment, she knew that they'd get out of this, somehow. She didn't know how yet, but they would. As her Jack would say, those bugs were toast.

The smile vanished from Fifth's boyish face, to be replaced by a thin-lipped frown. He didn't look happy. Oh, well. Into everybody's life a little rain must fall. And if her suspicions were correct, Jack was about to dump a monsoon all over his parade.

And she would be there right beside him, backing him up. Watching his delectable six. As his teammate and trusted friend. Nothing more. If only. . . She'd moved on though, gotten a life, just like he'd suggested. A life with someone else. . .Pete. Not Jack. She ruthlessly throttled the little voice that kept asking her why she was so glad that her Jack was here with her right now instead of Pete, the man she was going to marry.

Wrenching her mind out of the morass of distracting what-ifs and might-have-beens, she tuned back to the battle of wits going on around her. A rustling whirring sound alerted her to the fact that they had company. She watched in horror as the blocks in the ceiling of their cell combined their separate parts until they clicked their way down the walls, surrounding the standing figures in the cell; evidently Fifth had communicated his displeasure to his fellow Replicators.

Instinctively, she edged closer to Jack until their shoulders touched. She exchanged a quick glance with him and noted his barely perceptible nod. Then she stared back at their common foe. They would fight and win this one. Together.

"He's attempting to distract and confuse us, it's what he does whenever he's in a tight spot. It's been a very effective tactic for him in the past. Gets his enemies so worked up that they tell him too much, giving him the tactical advantage. It won't work with us, though." Jay smiled coldly at his human counterpart. "We know you too well, we're you. Both of you." Jay smirked at Jack and Sam, never taking his cold dirt-brown eyes off them.

Jack's response wasn't long in coming. "Well, I hate to disappoint you, Thing One, but you and I both know that you don't know as much about me as you think you know. Ya know what I mean?"

Ess laughed, and its sound bounced eerily and grotesquely around the walls of the cell. Sam couldn't help but flinch. The laugh was hers, yet, it wasn't. Technically and mechanically perfect, but lacking in the life that made it genuine. Just like their eyes, they were dead things, without luster and shine. Truly windows to their dead souls, if they even had any.

Fifth smiled again and beckoned to his protégés, Jay and Ess. They both stepped forward until they were facing their human counterparts. Jay facing Sam, Ess facing Jack.

"My brethren, it is time for another learning experience." Fifth motioned with his hand, indicating the two Replicator people standing in front of him. He smiled as they stepped toward their quarry, hands reaching out to make contact with human foreheads. The smaller brothers scattered before them, climbing back up the walls to perch, like spectators at the Roman Coliseum on 'Christians versus the Lions' Day.

Jack and Sam screamed as they sank to their knees. Jay and Ess followed the human's bodies as they collapsed to the cell floor, their faces contorted in agony. Fifth made note that Jack and Sam's hands were joined, their knuckles white with the strength of their grip. '_Another weakness to exploit, perhaps.'_

Fifth stepped forward and placed his hand on each of his student's shoulders. The boundaries of his hands disappeared as they merged with that of his protégés. They were doing well. The brethren would learn much.

Eir, or Ernie as he preferred to be called, was the foremost expert on human physiology, customs, and communications for the Asgard, and he was worried. Thor had just contacted him, requesting an urgent meeting. The fact that Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet had done this was highly unusual. It had disrupted his intriguing study of human metaphors. Their use of contractions was fascinating, he decided.

Ernie sighed dramatically and activated the transporter at his console. Instantly, he was beamed to the bridge of Thor's ship, The O'Neill II. Thor was standing in front of him, impatience radiating from him in waves.

"You rang, Thor?" Ernie wisely kept his bounces to a minimum as he met Thor's black-eyed glare of disapproval.

"I fear there may be a problem, Eir. You are aware that the Asgard Fleet has been monitoring all subspace radio transmissions in an attempt to locate the remaining Replicators that escaped destruction."

"Yep, I know all that. So, what's new?" Ernie decided that contractions were cool.

Thor sighed and turned to the console on his chair. After manipulating several stones, a graphic representation of their galaxy appeared on the view screen. Ernie studied it for clues to whatever was concerning his Asgard friend. He turned his head to look at Thor.

"The areas that have already been searched and pronounced free of any Replicator infestation are marked in blue. Those that have yet to be investigated and cleared are shown in green. As you can see, the Fleet has been making remarkable progress toward narrowing the possible hiding places of the Replicators."

"And?" Ernie was almost beside himself with frustration. He hated it when his fellows beat around the bush like this.

Thor shot him a reproving glare. "An hour ago unusual subspace communication was detected in this area."

Thor moved another stone and one small section of green changed to red. "The frequency used is one that has been associated with the Replicators in the past. An Asgard vessel has been dispatched to this area to investigate."

Ernie couldn't stand the suspense. "So, what does this have to do with me?"

Thor blinked solemnly. "Irregularities have also been detected with Jack O'Neill. A short time ago, our monitors indicated that he left his home world and entered hyperspace. According to our tracking device, the current location of his life signs matches the area in question."

"You mean the bugs have Jack O'Neill?" Ernie was bouncing; oblivious to the remonstrating looks Thor directed his way.

"I believe you are correct. However, I have set course for their home planet and contacted the SGC in order to learn more about the whereabouts of Jack O'Neill. We should be arriving there momentarily. I expect an answer at any moment and knew you would wish to be in attendance due to your friendship with him. Perhaps we will learn that our data is in error."

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'Yeah, and pigs will fly,' thought Ernie. He had a bad feeling about this, but decided to keep it to himself. His human friend had spoken to him of a thing called 'a gut feeling' and urged him to trust it. He had that gut feeling now, and wanted it to be wrong. Though deep down, he knew it was not.

Thor moved another stone and the holographic image of General Hammond, Head of Home World Security on the planet Earth, appeared in front of them. From his association with this human, Ernie could tell he was worried. The awful gut feeling increased exponentially.

"Greetings, General Hammond of Earth." Thor nodded his head and blinked slowly.

"Hello, Thor. I'm glad you called. We have a bit of a mystery here and were hoping you might have some answers."

"Perhaps. Tell me of your mystery."

"About two hours ago, two of our personnel, Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter and General Jack O'Neill were transported off our planet. At approximately the same time, the Prometheus detected a spaceship in orbit around our planet that appeared to be the source of the transporter device. However, shortly afterwards we lost track of the vessel. Was it one of yours, Thor?"

Ernie's eyes widened in surprise and he noted that Thor's did too. Hammond had some of the same qualities as his friend, Jack O'Neill, in that he did not beat around the bush. Ernie decided then that he liked this human.

"It was not, General Hammond. In fact, I contacted you due to certain anomalies we have detected. I was concerned when our tracking devices showed that Jack O'Neill was no longer on his home planet as I was aware that he had been forbidden to leave due to security concerns."

"If you didn't take our people, then who did? I wasn't aware that anyone else possessed your transporter technology." Hammond rubbed the back of his neck.

From his study of humans, Ernie knew this was a sign of stress. He didn't blame the general, he felt stressed too.

"The Replicators also possess this technology, General Hammond."

"The bugs again? I'd hoped we'd seen the last of those things!" The human's holographic image shimmered, as he appeared to shuffle his feet. Another sign of stress and worry, Ernie knew.

"The Asgard Fleet has detected unusual subspace communication emanating from an area not yet investigated for Replicator occupation and a ship has been dispatched to investigate. When I noted that the location Jack O'Neill's life signs matched the anomaly, I became suspicious and contacted you."

Hammond's lips thin-lined, then puffed out a sigh. "So you think the Replicators have our people?"

"I do." Thor blinked again.

Hammond shook his head and grimaced. "We can't send the Prometheus. It's needed here for defense."

"I intend to investigate the matter myself, General Hammond. The Replicators cannot be allowed to gain access to the knowledge of the Ancients that Jack O'Neill possesses. The destruction of the Replicators and the rescue of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter have become priorities for the Asgard Fleet." Thor paused.

Ernie had the feeling that he wasn't going to like what was coming next.

Thor continued after a long breath. "However, you must understand that the destruction of the Replicators must take priority over the rescue of the humans."

Ernie's heart sank at that pronouncement. His heritage and training of what it meant to be an Asgard recognized the truth of Thor's statement. However, the love he had for his human friend shouted that this could not be so. He watched Thor's face. Someone not familiar with his race would not have caught the look of sorrow that flitted across the Supreme Commander's face.

Hammond nodded and gave his answer. "I understand, Thor. Is there anything we can do to help? We're willing to send a SG team and weapons. As I recall, our projectile weapons have been effective against those bugs in the past."

"We would welcome any assistance that you might give us, General Hammond. I also intend to utilize the special weapon that Jack O'Neill crafted and integrated into my vessel's weapons systems. I am hopeful that this, combined with your SG team, will be enough to eradicate this threat and rescue our friends. Understand this, I have grown to respect both Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill. If their rescue is possible, I will attempt it."

"I know you'll do your best, Thor. I'll have the team ready to board your vessel within the hour. As may be expected, Teal'c and Daniel Jackson have been chomping at the bit to launch a rescue as soon as we realized our people were missing."

Ernie felt a surge of hope when he heard that Teal'c and Daniel Jackson would be accompanying them. Their loyalty to their friends was legendary. The combined knowledge of the archeologist and the cunning of the Jaffa warrior might be enough to make the difference for his friends.

"I shall remain in orbit around your planet until your team is aboard, General Hammond. I will contact you for further information in thirty of your minutes."

"I can't thank you enough for helping us out, Thor," Hammond looked grim. "I'll await your contact. Hammond out." The human general's holographic image faded.

Ernie was bursting with his words to the point that he thought that he would explode. But Thor waved him to silence before he could speak. "You object to the necessity of making the destruction of the Replicators the number one priority?"

"Ya think?" Ernie couldn't stay in one place, his energy causing him to bounce about the room, not unlike a child on a pogo stick. "How can you say such a thing, Thor? You're friends with both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. We owe them. . .big time."

"You believe I do not realize this? That I do not remember the sacrifices these two humans have made for us? That the Asgard race still exists only because of them?" Thor shook his head.

Ernie quieted, looking at the sorrow on Thor's face. His feet remained still as the indignant anger drained away, leaving him feeling small and remorseful for making the erroneous assumption that Thor did not care for their friends. His tirade had laid more guilt upon thin shoulders that already bore so much.

"I was wrong to question you, Thor. You of all people know the value of our human friends. I ask your forgiveness for my error in judgment." Ernie looked into Thor's eyes, almost afraid of what he would see. The wrath of the Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet was well known, and he had no wish to experience it.

Thor blinked and then reached out a hand to place it on Ernie's shoulder. "You are forgiven, Eir. Your devotion to our human friends is understandable. It is a feeling that we share."

Ernie felt a wave of relief move through his small frame. Thor wasn't going to ream his sorry ass out after all. "So, Thor. What's the plan? How are we going to catch these bugs and kick their asses?"

Thor was all business, revealing why he had been appointed as Supreme Commander and kept the position over the years. "First, I will contact the vessel that is presently investigating the anomaly. Then, I will transport the SG team on board our vessel, in preparation for departure. I will meet with them in our Conference Room and would like your presence there. Through my experience with them, I have learned that much can be learned about these humans by observing their behavior. Your knowledge of human communication will be most advantageous for us."

"Yeah sure yabetcha, I'll be there with bells on." Ernie was bouncing again in excitement. He truly enjoyed being in the presence of these humans. Plus, studying them would distract him from worrying about his friend, Jack O'Neill.

While it was true that the Asgard race was technologically superior to them, sometimes he felt that he was the inferior race when viewing their tenacity and accomplishments. Perhaps, by combining the best of both races, they could prevail against their common enemy.

Samantha Carter awoke in her lab at the SGC. She felt groggy and confused. Was she supposed to be here? From appearances, she'd fallen asleep at her computer, a common enough occurrence for her. She shook her head slowly in an attempt to clear it. Something was wrong about this place, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Yet.

The sound of someone at the door caught her attention. "Who's there?"

She suddenly wished she'd kept a weapon hidden away, like Jack had suggested. But she'd refused, saying she felt safer in her lab than anywhere else. Was she about to learn that she'd been wrong?

"Whatcha doin', Carter?" The long lean frame was a nothing but a shadow in the doorway, but the voice was well remembered.

"Sir?"

He stepped farther into the room, and Sam gasped. It wasn't her Jack. It was Thing One. Jack's name for them had been very appropriate. As usual.

"Don't call me that," she instructed, her voice harsh with strain and. . .fear?

"What?" His, no, 'Its' eyebrow quirked upward, so familiar, and yet so bizarre.

"You aren't him, so don't call me Carter," that said, she stood, facing it, eyes boring into it. Whether this act of defiance was meant to convince herself or that THING that she was strong enough to resist whatever they had planned, she had no idea. Maybe it was best not to think about right now. _'Yeah, follow Jack's advice, Samantha. Don't think so much.'_

It chuckled, a hollow sound that had no warmth or humor in it. "Ya think? By the way, welcome to your brain. You like?"

"You mean. . . ?" She looked around wildly.

"Yeah, sure, yabetcha. All this is taking place inside that cute little blonde head of yours." It tapped the side of its head and smirked mockingly. "All brought to you courtesy of your not-so-friendly neighborhood techno-bug-man. So, are you a happy camper?"

She flinched. This was too surreal for words. This MACHINE was making a mockery of the man he bore the likeness of. Not to mention the fact that the thought of IT messing around inside her head was seriously creeping her out.

"No! Of course I'm not, so just cut the crap, Thing One. I'm not in the mood for it, and you know it. Why are we here?"

Thing One sauntered over to the counter, picked up a gadget, and began fiddling with it. Sam resisted the urge to grab it out of its hand. Her rage was giving her the energy to fight, and with it came hope.

It looked at her coldly, all pretense of friendliness gone. "Do you mean you and me? Or you and him?"

"Jack and I," she responded.

The hands belonging to Jack's double stilled and the gadget rested in one palm. The long elegant fingers curled around it, until she heard the sounds of distressed metal. She watched as the fingers released its crushing grasp, allowing the broken pieces to fall to the floor. Mesmerized, she followed their decent until they lay scattered on the floor of the lab. Then, the individual pieces morphed into blocks that joined together, and chittered and clicked away from her.

"Revenge." The words took her by surprise and jerked her eyes back to the speaker.

"What?"

"The reason you're here is revenge. Even though this is one of the oldest clichés in the book, it's right on the money this time. We want revenge from you and Jack. You both hurt us and now you're going to pay for it." The words coming from its mouth were spoken so reasonably, like a lecture given to a cadet who'd just screwed up.

"Oh." She didn't know what else to say. '_I mean, what do you say to a machine that's just told you that you've seriously pissed it off?'_

"You're speechless, Carter?"

"I told you not to call me that," she snapped. "Besides, I thought your first imperative was to replicate, to increase your numbers."

"That has not changed. However, revenge has been added where it was absent before. The actions of Jack and yourself were the reason for that."

Sam shrugged. "So, you've got us. Now what?"

"We get what we came for." The words were simple, filled with menace. It stepped toward her, and she automatically shrank backward. The wall that sprang into being against her back stopped her.

"He blames you for it, you know." It stood within inches of her face, all pretense of humor and humanity gone.

"For what?"

"For this," he answered. One long, elegant finger touched the center of her forehead.

Images flickered through her mind, lightning fast. Like a spectator at a movie, she watched as she urged Jack to accept the Tok'ra symbiote. To live, for her. The scene segued into Jack lying on a metallic spider web; tendrils of smoke wafting upward from holes in his shirt, as drops of death sped toward him. She heard him plead with Ba'al to end it.

"Don't," Jack begged. She saw the pain and felt it as if she were him.

"Don't," she echoed, eyes wide, unseeing, as she sank to the floor.

The Replicator version of Jack O'Neill smiled. Their plan was working. The clichés were true after all. Revenge was sweet, and a dish best served cold. It left her lying there alone, curled into the fetal position; eyes squeezed shut and tears steaming down her face. Fifth should be informed.

To Be Continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **"What Fools!" Part 2 of the "What Fools These Mortals Be Sequence"

**Author: **dinkydow

**Email: **Sequel to "What?" Romance, action/adventure, angst, hurt/comfort

**Rating: **R

**Season:** Season 8

**Spoilers: **Small ones for "Abyss", "New Order", "Affinity"

**Warnings: **Violence and suggestive language. This chapter deals with the subject of rape and how it affects its victims.

**Summary: **Fifth still wants revenge.

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.

**Author's Notes:** Here's another Dinkyfic. It would also help if you read my previous "Ricochet" Series and the prequel to this series, "What Fools These Mortals Be". Many thanks to Jolene, Linda, and Alice for keeping me focused and being my betas for this one. Words in italics are the person's thoughts. You may have noticed that I went so far as to label this as a "romance". Please, don't tell my Mom, as she would probably die laughing.

Jack O'Neill was back on his roof in his observatory, looking up at a blue Colorado sky. He didn't think he should be there, and was pretty sure he wouldn't like the reason why he felt that way once he finally figured it out. Still, that sky sure did look nice, might as well take advantage of the break while it lasted.

Looking down at himself, he realized he was wearing a brown flannel shirt and black jeans, the baggy type. He should've been sweating, what with it being so hot and all, but it didn't even hurt his eyes to look at the sun, not like it should've. '_So not a good sign, Jack._ _Something is definitely rotten in Denmark, and it ain't the herring.'_ That sun felt good though, warming the skin on his face and neck. He rolled his sleeves halfway up his arms, as he scanned the area.

The sound of someone climbing the ladder to his roof caught his attention. He sniffed, no familiar aroma tickled his nostrils, so figured he'd have to wait until whoever it was made an appearance before deciding if he'd have to shoot them or not. Automatically, he checked the back of his pants for his 9 mil. '_Crap, it wasn't there.'_

Moving softly, he crept to the hiding place where he always kept a backup and moved away the floorboard. '_That was empty too! What the . . .?'_

A familiar giggle had him whirling in place, ready to attack. He froze in surprise. It was Carter. Or at least it looked like Carter. '_How the hell did she creep up on me that way? You're losing your touch in your old age, Jack.' _He inhaled again, his nostrils flaring.

Nope, no way it could be her

Rising from a crouch, he sprang and accomplished . . . nothing, as the blonde female easily sidestepped his attack. He pivoted from his position against the railing to face the trespasser. Automatically, he checked for exit points . . . just in case. His unsuccessful assault had placed him closer to the ladder, which was an advantageous position in his book of strategy.

She giggled again, smiling impishly. "What's the matter, Sir? I didn't scare you, did I?" She rocked back and forth on her heels, arms folded negligently across her ample chest. She was dressed in steel-gray; certainly non-regulation as far as the Air Force was concerned.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing on my roof?" Jack growled, low and dangerous.

"Don't you know who I am, Sir?" She giggled again. It sounded so familiar, yet it wasn't, couldn't be, her.

There was no harm in playing her game, maybe he could draw her out, get some intel. "You tell me."

"I'm Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, Sir. You should know that," she chided.

Jack shook his head. "You may look like her, but you're not her. I should know. So, for the last time, who the hell are you and what are you doing on my roof?"

His voice got louder with every word. Whoever the hell this imposter was, she was beginning to seriously piss him off.

The teasing look fled her face, to be replaced with something harder, more deadly. "You're right, Jack. I'm not her; I'm better than her. I'm Ess." She paused. "Remember now?"

A dizzying montage of images flooded his brain, causing him to reel with the impact. He relived his most recent kidnapping, waking up in the dark, and finding Carter trapped there with him. His face burned with the remembered embarrassment of seeing her gloriously naked, and his discovery of her mole. That memory flowed into the appearance of Fifth, and his bug thingys.

"You're Thing Two, Sam's evil twin!" He grabbed onto the railing to keep himself upright. '_Crap! This is so not a good thing, Jack. Okay, calm yourself down. Got to get a handle on this shit. Get some intel; figure a way out of this fricking mess. Remember, there is always a way out.'_

The figure facing him clapped its hands slowly and then laughed when he flashed a look of chagrin. "Very good, Jack. I knew you'd figure it out, if I gave you enough hints. You're getting slow in your old age, you know. Ten years ago, or even five, you would've gotten it sooner. Guess that's one of the disadvantages of mortality, huh. I don't understand what you fools see in it myself."

He straightened, ready to fight back with whatever weapons he had. At the moment he only had his cunning and his wits. "Yeah, well, what the hell would you know about it? You're a bug person, a Replicator. Say, if Fifth and Thing One are called brethren, does that make you a cistern?"

He smirked and knew he'd scored a hit when a look of anger flitted across Its face. Folding his arms across his chest, he leaned nonchalantly with his back against the railing.

He fired another salvo, designed to confuse and hoped it would be effective. "I'm asking you again, what the hell are you doing on my roof?"

A look of impatience fell upon Its face. "We're not on your roof, we're inside your head. Don't you get it? Do I have to spell everything out for you? I thought you were smarter than that."

"Ah! Well you know me; I'm just a dumb flyboy who's blown up one too many snakes. Sort of scrambles the gray matter after a while, if you know what I mean." He tapped the side of his head and smiled innocently.

"Cut the crap, Jack. You can't pull the dumb act on me. I know you, because I AM you."

It took a step toward him, and he tried backing up, but was stopped by the railing that suddenly morphed into a shifting but impenetrable barrier made up of Replicator blocks, almost encasing him in their grasp. He cringed away in reaction, squirming and twisting his body.

Unfortunately, this put him within easy reach of the Bug version of Sam. It smiled in a feral way, baring Its teeth like a snarling leopard, just before it sank its teeth in its prey. Jack shivered in spite of himself.

"You're such a slave to your senses, Jack. There is nowhere you can go to escape me."

Jack took a deep breath, calming himself. His reaction to feeling the wall of bug blocks against his back had been instinctive. If he were to have any chance of surviving, he had to get control of himself, of the situation. And he had to survive. Not for himself, but for her. For Sam.

"Ya know what? I've never been accused of having any sense before." He relaxed the muscles of his face, erasing all emotions. No way he was going to let this THING win. "But then, you'd know that, wouldn't you. Seeing as how you've stolen my memories and all."

"Not just yours Jack. Samantha's too. Would you like to know what you're missing? I could show you. I assure you that I'm anatomically correct in all aspects and fully functional." It smiled and stepped forward, molding Its body against his, lightly tracing one finger along his jaw line.

He wanted to shrink back, but had nowhere to go. '_Were you just propositioned by a bug person, Jack? This THING couldn't be serious, could it? It's just too wacko.'_

He grabbed the hand and removed it from his jaw. "So, you're proposing that I just plug myself into your dick drive for a quick download? Umm, I think I'll pass on that one. I don't think our software is compatible, if ya know what I mean."

He stretched his lips in a tight smile, more of a grimace than anything. He tried shifting sideways, to slide away from her touch. As if his actions were a signal, he felt restraints growing around his ankles. It was a creepy feeling and he so wanted to get the heck out of Dodge, but couldn't move a step.

Sam's doppelganger pouted, full lips drawn up into a bow. "You sure? It would be the perfect solution. No pesky regs to stand in the way, no messy touchy-feely crap to put up with afterwards. The ideal one-night stand." Its arms wrapped around him, one hand around the small of his back, the other at his neck.

He struggled; raising his arms to push her away, but discovered he couldn't move them, when the same creepy-crawly restraints grew over his wrists. Desperate now, he twisted and turned, trying to evade Its grasp, but it was too strong.

Inexorably, in a parody of intimacy, It bent his head toward Its parted lips, inviting him in. He spat and hit his target. The spittle ran down Thing Two's cheek, leaving a glistening trail, like slime from a slug.

"Get the fuck away from me, you Techno-bitch!"

It laughed and released his head, sliding both hands sensuously down his body, tugging his shirt out of his pants, and disregarding the buttons, ripped it open. The feel of cold mechanical fingers brushing against the skin of his stomach and chest made him squirm in revulsion, trying to escape the unwanted touch.

As he watched in growing horror, the spit on Its cheek disappeared, absorbed by the tiny bug blocks comprising the Bride of Frankenstein wannabe in front of him.

"This is the closest you'll ever get to knowing what it would be like to make love to her, you know. You had your chance and you blew it. She finally realized what you've known all along. She deserves better than you. That's why she chose Pete."

With effort, he kept his face blank, but inside he was bleeding. His heart shattered, hemorrhaging into his soul. '_Why in hell did that bug thing have to be so damned accurate? Oh yeah, because it has all your memories, Jack. And Sam's too. Of course, there's always the chance that It's messing with your head . . . Especially since this crap is taking place inside your head. Who would've guessed it would be this crowded inside your noggin? But it sure feels real.'_

Seemingly female hips ground against his groin, arousing him despite his repugnance. In an effort to distract himself, he bit his lip. Hard. Feeling his arousal, the hips continued their obscene bump and grind and then upped the ante. Jack felt fingers tugging at the zipper of his pants.

"Don't do this," he growled low in his throat, like an animal that's been cornered and has no option but to fight.

It shrugged, withdrew its hands from his body, and then stepped away. Simultaneously, the wall of bug blocks at his back multiplied, slithering over his body, wrapping it in a cocoon until only his face was left free. His body trapped, the only weapon he had left was his mind. At least her assault on his body had ceased, giving him room to breathe and time to think.

"Why are you doing this? Don't you have better things to do with your time? You know, planets to consume, galaxies to dominate?"

In frustration, he tried banging his head, but had been robbed of even that outlet. He'd lost all sensation with his torso, and as for his extremities, their condition was also a mystery.

She stood in front of him, a smirk on her face. "Finally an intelligent question from you. I was beginning to think you were as dumb as you act, Jack."

"You didn't answer my question," he snarled out between clenched teeth. He tried moving the pinkie on his right hand. '_A huge honkin' no-go there. Crap, you can't even feel the damned thing, let alone move it. Jack O'Neill, it's official. You are in deep kimchee!'_

"We're doing it because we can."

Her answer took him by surprise, as he was concentrating on regaining any semblance of control over his body.

"What?"

She took a deep breath and spoke slowly, as if to a particularly dense child. "You asked me why we're doing this and I told you. We're doing it because we can. You and Sam are both at our mercy now, and let me assure you, we don't have any. Mercy that is. Not when it comes to dealing with the two people who betrayed us. Lied to us."

"You're doing this because we pissed you off?" Jack's incredulous laugh echoed strangely in the confined space, seemingly bouncing off the machine standing in front of him and then rebounding back to its origin.

'Well, ain't this just peachy, I'm caught in some kind of Sci-Fi soap opera, 'As the Bug Evolves'.'

"Yes."

"So, now that you've got us, what next? Whips, chains? The comfy chair?" He raised an eyebrow in lieu of shrugging his shoulders.

She giggled, a perversion of the genuine article. "We hurt you, just like you did us. Only we don't need such primitive tools to cause pain. Not when we can do this."

He saw the hand reaching for him, and tried to duck away, really he did. But he couldn't, the cocoon encasing him wouldn't budge. The inhuman hand touched his face, cradling his cheek, almost in a caress. Its face was mere inches from his, ice-blue eyes boring into his, but he refused to blink, having no other way to demonstrate his defiance.

The hand moved upward until the fingers touched his forehead. He tensed, sensing what was coming next. Although expected, the sudden invasion jolted his senses.

Images flashed before his eyes. Sam laughing with Pete, making love to him, accepting his ring. Saying yes. He cringed, as he experienced her feelings, her ecstasy, as if he were her. When she climaxed, he did too, riding the wave down the other side. Any part of his heart that was still intact crumbled, turned to dust, blown away on the sighs of might have beens.

The scene abruptly changed, shifting to Sam being tortured by Fifth for a decision he had made. An accusation oozed insidiously through his mind, like slime through a swamp. "It's your fault. You know it and Sam knows it. Sam blames you for what's happening here. She's better off with Pete."

"Unbeknownst to Jack, tears ran down his face, to drip upon the blocks encasing his body as he stared, unseeing. Ess stood back to admire its work, adjusted her clothing, and smiled. Fifth would be pleased. Matching the images forced into his brain with corresponding assaults on his physical body had been a stroke of sheer genius. The combined sensations served to accentuate every aspect of their attack upon his mind and body.

The female automaton gave the order and the little brothers began releasing Jack, each block joining to form larger units, until they skittered away chittering and whining as they withdrew, awaiting further instructions. His body released from their grasp, he crumpled to the floor, unconscious, tears staining his cheeks.

Jack's torn shirt revealed a bare chest, its subtle rise and fall illustrating that he hardly seemed to be breathing, but Ess was not concerned; such things were inconsequential compared to the final goal. As both the shirt and pants had been damaged, Sam's duplicate ordered the little brothers to consume Jack's clothing and manufacture new coverings which would further their aims.

As Ess watched, the small brethren crawled slowly over Jack's unconscious body, consuming his clothing as they went, to include his shoes and socks, leaving him wearing only his stained boxers. Those would remain in order to further their plan of inflicting pain and mental suffering on the one who had given the order to Sam to betray Fifth. The one that was ultimately responsible for hurting them.

Based on shared memories from Fifth, Ess knew Jack would remain oblivious to what was happening for some time to come. There was plenty of time for the little brothers to create new clothing out of the raw materials contained in what he'd worn before.

Ess turned as portion of the cell wall melted and Jay walked through. "Did it go as planned?"

Jay smiled and nodded. "Ya sure yabetcha, snookums. I've set our little brothers the task of eating Sam's clothing and replacing it with ones identical to ours. I think Fifth will be tickled pink when we debrief."

Ess returned the smile with one of its own. "Ya think?"

An hour after speaking with General Hammond, Thor and Ernie were meeting with Teal'c, Daniel, Colonel Dixon, and Colonel Reynolds. Ernie was excited. Hammond had sent their best to aid them. He just hoped that it would be enough. Their spaceship, the O'Neill II, had left Earth orbit soon after the passengers and supplies had been transported aboard.

Thor was thorough during his briefing. Contact with the investigating Asgard vessel had revealed that a Replicator vessel had landed on a planet in that sector. From their vantage point in orbit, the cloaked Asgard vessel had surveyed the surface and found it to be void of any life. Instead, it teemed with Replicators. Weather on this desolate world was unfavorable, consisting of high winds and monster storms that made transporting any landing party to the surface hazardous, if not impossible.

For reasons known only to them, the Replicators appeared to be confined to the one planet, eschewing contact with other worlds in the star system. Ernie hadn't figured out the reasons for it yet, and had decided it really didn't matter in the long run. Not when there were more important things to ponder, and worry about.

The number one item on his list right now was the safety of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. Everything else, including his study of the use of contractions in human communication, had been put on the back burner. Of course, that did not mean that he couldn't try them out for size if the opportunity permitted. '_Did not or didn't? Which would be more effective?' _the little gray alien mused. '_What I would give right now for Jack O'Neill to tell me which one would be better.'_

As requested, Ernie sat observing the humans. Teal'c appeared stoic and calm as usual, although his jaw could be observed tensing and clenching under his ebony skin. Clearly, he was displeased with the disappearance of his friends. Ernie found the Jaffa's thatch of black hair distracting, and had to drag his attention away from it repeatedly. It just seemed wrong on so many levels.

When he realized he had made a pun, Ernie was inordinately proud of himself. According to Jack O'Neill, this was one of the higher forms of humor on his world, and the alien resolved he would have to tell him about it when he saw him again.

With an effort, Ernie tabled that thought for later and resumed his duties of observing the humans. Daniel Jackson was a mystery to him. He'd only come into contact with him recently, but had studied Thor's extensive reports of his earliest contacts with these humans. According to his Asgard friend, Daniel had spent some time as one of the 'Ascended', but then had reappeared a year later, seemingly alive and human once again.

Previous attempts on his part to interview Daniel Jackson and learn of his experiences while ascended had been fruitless. The human had been extremely reticent when it came to discussing this period of his life, claiming not to remember. Ernie didn't buy his excuse and was determined to extract the information out of Daniel with whatever means he could. Short of harming him, that is.

He had learned from experience how humans prized their privacy while dealing with Jack O'Neill. The fact that Jack O'Neill would personally hunt him down and hurt him severely if he did anything to harm his human friend might have had something to do with it too.

Ernie knew little about the other two humans, other than the fact that Dixon had a large family that he doted on. Since the Asgard used cloning to reproduce, the idea of children in and of itself was intriguing. At any other time, he would have been tempted to lure Dixon away from the area so that he might grill him about fatherhood. But, now was not the time. Too much was at stake. Ernie compromised by promising himself that he would speak to the human later, after their friends were safe.

Mentally, he added one more thing to his list of 'Things to do after Jack O'Neill is rescued'. The list was growing larger by the minute. '_Soon I'll have a whole shitload of things to do. I can't wait to tell Jack O'Neill about my list. Wait a minute, I just used another contraction! Sweet.'_

Ernie dragged his attention back to his current task of observing the interactions between the humans and restrained himself from bouncing in his chair. '_Concentrate on the humans, Ernie. Do your job or Thor will ream your little gray ass!'_

Judging by the looks of concentration and determination on their faces, Reynolds and Dixon were equally resolute in rescuing their colleagues, Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. Both had a looks of grim determination on their faces. '_Face it, Ernie. They're all worried sick about Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter too. So just do your job so we can haul their sorry asses back home.'_

Thor's voice broke into Ernie's introspections. "Our vessel will exit hyperspace in a short time. Once in position above the planet currently occupied by the Replicators, the weapon which Jack O'Neill created will be deployed against them."

"What about Jack and Sam? Do we know for certain that they're down there on that planet?" Daniel raised eyebrows in query. Ernie flashed a quick glance at Thor. Yes, the Supreme Commander had caught the non-verbal communication also and realized it added a degree of emphasis to Daniel's question.

"Although the Replicator vessel appears to be shielded, our tracking device indicates that Jack O'Neill is aboard and alive. In addition, the Asgard vessel already at the scene confirms that two human life signs have been detected on the planet surface."

"Are the Replicators aware of the presence of the Asgard vessel, Thor?" Teal'c asked with a direct gaze.

"We do not believe so. Our Asgard vessel remains cloaked and the Replicators have done nothing to indicate that they have detected it. In the past, this enemy has always reacted to such a threat by attacking it."

"Perhaps the Replicators have changed their tactics with the ascension of Fifth to the leadership position." Teal'c raised one eyebrow.

Through Ernie's association with this Jaffa, he had learned that Teal'c had elevated the art of non-verbal communication to a fine art. According to his friend, Jack O'Neill, the raised eyebrow meant that the Jaffa was either laughing hilariously or scolding an inept pupil who'd just made an exceptionally dangerous assumption. Given the context, Ernie had the feeling that the second interpretation was the likely winner.

Evidently the other humans sitting around the table were of the same opinion, as Daniel snorted and Colonel Dixon suddenly appeared to find the tabletop extremely interesting. Colonel Reynolds was grinning outright. Ernie turned to look at his fellow Asgard, Thor. Did he realize what was being said without words? Thor answered Ernie's own unspoken question with a slight nod.

"You wish to contribute your thoughts to our planning session?" asked Thor point-blank.

"Indeed." Teal'c inclined his head. "Should not our strategy include the probability that the Replicators know of our presence and have their own agenda?"

Thor tilted his head. "Your suggestion has merit, Teal'c."

Ernie couldn't restrain his bounces any longer. '_Whoo hoo! Hang on people, the cavalry is a comin'over the hill!'_

When Jack came to, his eyes snapped open, then immediately closed again as the glare from the too-bright lights speared into his brain. He rolled over onto his side, clutching his head with both hands. His actions didn't relieve the agony he was feeling. It felt like someone had taken an ice cream scoop to his brain, scraping out his gray matter, leaving his skull hollow. Only to dump the gray matter back inside again with no regard as to where anything went. '_Oy! I've had hangovers before, but this beats them all. And this time I didn't even get to enjoy myself. Thanks to that THING wanting to do the nasty with me.'_

Just thinking about it made his skin crawl. He caught a whiff of the air and cursed inwardly. It smelled like sex. Had he? Moving his thighs, he realized he was stuck to his boxers. Crap . . . he had. He shuddered.

Cautiously, he cracked open one eye to take stock of his surroundings. When it didn't make the pain inside his head any worse, he opened the other one. He could see nothing but Replicator blocks making up the floor of his cell. Or at least, that's where he thought he was now. Of course, considering the way those bugs could mess with your head, determining just what really was real, well that was another matter entirely.

Still, there was no sense in putting off the inevitable, he supposed. That decision made, keeping one hand firmly wrapped around his aching head, he used the other one to push himself up into a sitting position.

When he looked around, initially all he saw were metallic-gray walls, ceiling and floor. When he looked more closely, he realized he could see a Carter curled up in the corner. Despite the fact that she was dressed differently, he knew this one was the genuine article. Mixed with his scent, was Sam's.

Taking the time to look at himself, he realized his original clothes were gone too. They'd been replaced at some point by the bugs, he supposed. '_Don't go there Jack. You don't even want to think it. Crap, the thought of those THINGS stripping me down to my underwear gives me the creeps.'_

Jack shivered, drew his knees up and wrapped both arms around them_. 'I don't know which would be worse, having the bugs take off all my clothes except my skivvies or those THINGS, be it the Techno-bitch or Techno-Me . . . touching me.'_

The clothing he'd been given felt weird against his skin and he couldn't help but wonder if it were a real fabric or made up of teeny-tiny Replicators. That thought was bizarre in and of itself.

For a moment, he considered taking them off. However, since the bugs had taken his other clothes, he was left with the choice of stripping down to his boxers or keeping them on. Considering that Sam was in the same cell as he was, he decided he'd rather keep the bug-clothes rather than sit around in his whoofy underwear while Sam was around. He settled for sticking his hands in his pants so he could check on the status of his family jewels. They seemed to be in good shape. Just a little used and abused, nothing that a little disinfectant couldn't cure. He shivered again.

He resisted going over to wake up Sam, figuring she probably needed the recovery time. After all, it wasn't as if there was a whole heck of a lot to do right now. A deeper part of him knew his real reasons for postponing his meeting with her though, and he reddened with the shame of it.

Smell is one of the most powerful senses, and he recognized that if he had memorized her scent, she knew his too. Trouble was, that hers wasn't the only aroma bouncing around their cell. The other one, even more powerful, was evidence of what had happened in his encounter with Sam's evil twin.

He gasped, scrubbed his hand through his short gray hair, and searched his memories frantically. '_Did it? Did we? God, I hope not! But when it comes to those perverted bug people, you can never tell. Crap! What I would do for a shower right now. Not to mention some disinfectant, and maybe a scrub brush to scour away the feel of its touch against my skin.'_

Unfolding his long frame, he realized he couldn't just sit around, he felt way too jumpy for that. In deference to his still pounding head, he slowly rose to his feet. When this movement didn't make him puke up his toenails, he marked it as down as a victory of sorts.

He began pacing, back and forth across his side of the cell, his hands automatically searching for the pants pockets. When there weren't any, it only served to heighten his level of frustration and anger. '_Damned bugs can't even get the pants right.' _

As he walked, he mentally stuffed the most recent events into that box inside his head, the one that he kept for just such occasions. Then, he wrapped the box in a roll of duct tape for good measure. True, one of these days, that box was bound to explode even with the duct tape countermeasures, but until then . . .

Fifth was indeed pleased with the progress of his two protégés, Jay and Ess. While the three of them remained merged, one with each other, he communicated his latest findings to them. A cloaked Asgard vessel had been detected in orbit around their planet. This was not unexpected and only served to reinforce the necessity that they move on to the next stage of their plans for their human prisoners.

In the meantime, the brethren were ordered to begin the agreed upon evacuation sequence. Many had been lost when the Asgard had attacked previously. This destruction could not be allowed to happen again.

From communication with his fellows comprising the blocks of their cell, Fifth knew that Jack O'Neill had regained consciousness and that the exchange of clothing had been discovered. Soon, Samantha Carter would also open her eyes. When that occurred, the next phase of their plan could be put into effect.

In the meantime, the migration to safety began.

Samantha Carter was awakened by the smell of sex and the sound of pacing footsteps.

She heard a groan, and realized it had originated with her. Whoever was pacing had evidently heard her, as the rhythm of the steps stopped, to be replaced the sound of someone approaching.

Underneath the musky smell she could detect another scent. One that was readily identifiable to her. "Sir?"

She felt a hesitant touch on her shoulder that could only belong to one man, her Jack.

"Carter, you all right?"

She groaned again and cautiously slitted open one eye and immediately regretted it. "Holy Hannah, my head!"

"Take it easy. The headache seems to be one of the many side effects of having a bug person stick its hand inside your head. Go figure."

Her mind kicked into full gear at the mention of their encounter with Fifth and the evil bug twins and horrific memories flooded her mind. The approach of Jay's hand, the pain when it penetrated her forehead, followed by the shared memories of Jack's torture at the hands of Ba'al. She'd felt him die trapped against the spider web, and had died with him. The pain from the acid had been inconsequential though compared to the news that Jack had held her responsible for it because she'd urged him to accept the Tok'ra symbiote when he'd been dying.

Those memories and the fact that Jack's voice sounded . . . off somehow gave her the resolve to open both eyes and push into an upright position. Jack was dressed in the same clothes that the bug people had worn. She gasped when she looked down and realized she was dressed the same. For a moment, she considered the possibility that the man in the cell with her wasn't her Jack and then immediately rejected it. She'd know his scent anywhere.

Jack was standing back from her with little emotion showing on his face. That wasn't right either, any other time and he'd have been right there by her side, wanting to help. '_Does he still blame me for Ba'al? Surely he's gotten over that by now. Has realized that I only wanted him to survive. That I would've given my life for him if it would've prevented his capture and torture by that monster. No harm in finding out, though.'_

Mentally preparing herself for his rejection, she mulled over her next words. "What's wrong, Sir?" Her suspicions that he was hiding something were confirmed when he jumped.

"You mean besides the fact that we've been kidnapped by bug people?" He quirked one eyebrow.

"You know that's not what I mean. You just seem jumpy, that's all." She tried scooting closer to him, and was worried when he cringed back from her. "Cut the bull, Sir. What's wrong? Is it something I did?" '_There, the question is out in the open. Let's see what he does with it.'_

"Huh?"

His reaction seemed genuine, as if he really didn't know what she was talking about. So, if it wasn't something she'd done, then that left the Replicators. Ooh, this could get ugly. She sighed in frustration and was reminded of the first scent she'd discovered upon her awakening. Sex.

"Sir? What happened while I was unconscious?" He flinched again, as if he'd been struck, and looked away.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, don't beat around the bush. What happened when Thing Two stuck its hand inside your head?"

"Oh, that. You go first."

"No, I think you should go first, Sir. You've been acting pretty weird ever since I came to." She watched as his eyes grew dark. "Any other time you would've been over here helping me out. Now you act like you can't stand the sight of me. So, what's going on?"

"Nothin' much. Only what usually happens when a bug bitch lets Its fingers do the walking through your brain cells." He shrugged. "Nail-in-the-head headache and the strong urge to beat the crap out of whoever had the idea that robots were cool. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't know, Sir. So why won't you tell me?"

"Drop it, Carter." He scrubbed his face with his hands and then turned away from her.

She got to her feet and walked up behind him. When she put a tentative hand on his shoulder, he jumped, as if he hadn't heard her approach.

"Sir?"

He whirled around and grabbed both her hands in his. Seeing his eyes widen, she cocked her head sideways in question. He answered by pointing over her shoulder with his chin. His gesture needed no explanation as she heard the sound of Replicators whining and chirping.

He loosened his grip and she turned to face what she knew was coming. Sure enough, the cell walls melted allowing three figures to enter the room with them. Once they'd passed, the walls knitted themselves back together again.

Jack and Sam backed slowly away from them, but were stopped by a wall that suddenly sprang into being against their backs. Jack reacted by cringing again, as if contact with the wall had shocked him.

Fifth and his evil twins all wore smiles, and Sam felt Jack shiver beside her. Then he stepped in front of her, seemingly all business.

"What do you want this time?"

Ess stepped forward with an awful smirk on her face. One that Sam never hoped she'd use on her own.

"We'd like to have some more fun, Jack. You should know by now that I don't believe in one-night stands." She shared a grin with Jay and Ess and then wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"What the hell are you talking about?" exploded Sam. Jack had turned beet-red and looked like he wanted to kill someone.

"You mean he hasn't told you? Jack, I'm surprised. You've never been shy before." Ess swaggered seductively toward Jack, who tried to back warily away from her. When the wall at his back stopped him, he slid sideways around Sam in an effort to escape the clutches of her evil twin.

"Yeah, well, it's something I've been trying to forget. So if you don't mind, just bug off, Bug." He barked.

"Jeez, Jack. I'm crushed. You go for a romp in the sack and don't invite me?" Jay smirked and advanced toward the human couple.

Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. '_Do they mean what I think they mean? You mean Jack and that Thing did the horizontal tango? Holy Hannah! There is no way in hell that he would've done something like that voluntarily. Not my Jack. Then that means . . . My god, that Thing raped him! No wonder he's been acting the way he has.'_

"Oh God, Jack. I'm so sorry," she blurted. Jack winced.

"Hey, it's not what you think, Carter," he mumbled unconvincingly. They were interrupted by laughter, which awakened them to the fact that Jay and Ess had come within arms reach of them.

Jack grabbed Sam by the shoulders and guided her around until she stood in back of him.

Jay folded his arms and smirked. "Whatcha doin', Jack? Don't you want to let Carter in on the fun too?"

Sam gasped and paled. '_This cannot be happening, this cannot be happening, there is no way in hell this can be happening!'_

"Stay the hell away from me, you bastard!" Sam growled.

"I think the lady just told you to take a hike. We're so not into kinky ménage à trois à la, bug so, amscray, get lost, and bug off, you Techno-bastard." Jack stood toe-to-toe with his mechanical double and stared it in the eye. Sam watched in disbelief and awe.

"Jack?"

Distracted, he turned his head and it was then that the attack came. Sam watched as Jay drove his fingers into Jack's forehead. Her scream mingled with his as Jack collapsed to the floor at her feet. That left her standing, watching in shock as his face contorted in pain. He whimpered.

Sam turned to Fifth. "Don't do this. You're hurting him. Why don't you just stop? You have me, let him go. I'll go with you if you let him go." Tears ran down her cheeks.

Fifth shook its head with the finality of a hangman at the gallows. "No deal, Samantha Carter. We already have you, so why should we let either of you go? This is far too much fun to stop it now. Don't you think?" Fifth nodded and Ess stepped forward.

A familiar giggle alerted Sam to the forgotten threat. Her eyes snapped from Fifth toward the sound. Ess stepped around the body on the floor and repeated her giggle.

"Holy Hannah, Sam. You thought playing around with a generator was fun, wait till you try this." The voice was hers, but it wasn't. It lacked the subtle undertones that could not be duplicated by a mere machine.

"Now it's your turn, Sam." Ess reached for her and she screamed when she felt its touch. Ess maintained contact with her victim as Sam fell to the floor in a boneless heap.

Jay straightened and stepped back, a satisfied smirk on his face. "That went well, don't cha think?"

Fifth turned to his two students. "The Asgard are in position. We must evacuate now," As he watched, the floor of the cell around the two humans melted away, the individual parts joining into larger ones until they skittered away, leaving Jack and Sam lying on the bare ground. The brethren whined and chirped between themselves as they marched in an otherworldly parody of The March of the Tin Soldiers onto the waiting vessel. With a last look at their human captives, Fifth, Jay, and Ess turned and walked up the ramp.

As the hatch of the Replicator ship closed, Jack and Sam were left lying unconscious on the barren soil of the planet. The legs of the spider-shaped vessel retracted as it lifted into the sky, leaving them behind.

Strong winds buffeted the two human bodies and dust devils swirled around them, slowly covering them with a thin layer of sterile dust as the Replicator ship made the jump into hyperspace. The only sound was the screaming of the oncoming storm.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **"What Fools These . . ." Part 3 of the "What Fools These Mortals Be Sequence"

**Author: **dinkydow

**Email: **Sequel to "What Fools!" Romance, action/adventure, angst, hurt/comfort

**Rating: **R

**Season:** Season 8

**Spoilers: **"Heroes"

**Warnings: **Violence and suggestive language.

**Summary: **Fifth still wants revenge.

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.

**Dedication: **To our fighting men and women and the loved ones who have to watch them march in harms way.

**Author's Notes:** Here's another Dinkyfic. It would also help if you read my previous "Ricochet" Series. Many thanks to Jolene, Linda, and Alice for keeping me focused and being my betas for this one. Words in italics are the person's thoughts. You may have noticed that I went so far as to label this as a "romance". Please, don't tell my Mom, as she would probably die laughing.

Ernie heaved a sigh of relief as the O'Neill II burst out of hyperspace and arrived at their destination. He was standing on the bridge, along with Teal'c, Daniel Jackson, Colonel Dixon and Colonel Reynolds. Thor was in his command chair as befitted his rank as Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet. All eyes were glued to the view screen.

"Reports continue to confirm a lack of response from the Replicator vessel on the surface and the two human life signs continue to remain stable." Thor continued to monitor the incoming stream of data that appeared on his console.

Ernie watched Thor's face, knowing that any change would induce a response. '_Just hang in there a little bit longer, buddy. We're almost there!'_

Thor had already briefed them on the meanings of the various indicators on the view screen, so Ernie knew that the Replicator spaceship still remained on the planet surface. When Thor's eyes widened, Ernie knew something was up.

The blip belonging to the Replicator vessel suddenly glowed a bright red. Four pairs of human eyes and one pair of Asgard turned as one to look in question at the Asgard with all the answers. Ernie could only hope the change in the status didn't mean what he thought it meant.

"Thor? It's changed color. Red . . . that's a bad thing, right?" Daniel raised both eyebrows, causing his forehead to furrow.

"According to our monitors, the Replicator vessel appears to be leaving the planet surface and is preparing to enter hyperspace."

"Then my suspicions were correct in that the Replicators have been aware of the Asgard presence from the beginning. I surmise that it is the arrival of the O'Neill II which has precipitated their hasty departure as this vessel possesses the means to destroy them." Teal'c delivered his observations with no hint of censure or anger. It was merely a statement of fact.

"Do something, Thor. Anything. Can't you push a button to blow them away?" Ernie was bouncing with agitation. As they watched in horror, the red blip disappeared from the screen.

"I cannot, for they have already entered hyperspace. Their technology enables them to enter it in much closer proximity to the planet's surface than do ours. Once there, our instruments are unable to detect their whereabouts. I am sorry." Thor bowed his head, blinking furiously.

Ernie stopped bouncing and looked once more at the view screen. What he saw there gave him some hope. "If the Replicator vessel is gone, why are the life signs of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter still registering as still being on the planet? Wouldn't they disappear too if the bugs had taken them with them?"

Thor nodded. "You are correct, Eir. Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter remain on the planet's surface and their life signs remain relatively stable."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's beam their sorry asses onboard our ship!" Ernie was bouncing again with a mixture of excitement and frustration.

"Shouldn't we beam down and check them out first?" Daniel's head swiveled between the view screen and Thor.

"Surface conditions continue to preclude that option, Daniel Jackson." Thor turned to Ernie. "I have established a transporter lock on their positions. Once you have indicated that your facility is readied for their arrival, I will commence the transportation sequence."

"Beam me over, Scotty." Ernie looked at Thor. Thor looked back at him. Ernie blinked. "I mean, beam me over to the Infirmary and I'll get everything ready for our guests." Thor nodded and moved a shell on his console.

Ernie disappeared in a white flash of light. He rematerialized in the middle of his own kingdom, the medical facility onboard the O'Neill II. He headed for the far end where the human medical pods were stored. It wouldn't take him long to ready them, as he had already done the preliminary preparations.

Once he'd positioned two of the pods near his medical console, he began entering past medical data of the two expected patients in each one. He had little data on Samantha Carter, as she had not been one of his patients in the past, so he settled for entering the basic medical parameters for humans in her pod.

The amount of medical data on his other patient, Jack O'Neill was staggering. Although, considering the number of times he'd helped this particular human recover from one thing or another, Ernie supposed it really wasn't surprising.

Thor's face appeared on the console. "Surface conditions are deteriorating rapidly. Are you ready to transport?"

Ernie entered the last bit of data. "Ready and waiting. I can transport them directly to the medical pods from my position." Thor's image nodded and Ernie manipulated the stones on his console.

The sound of humming filled the room as two lights appeared in the waiting pods. When the lights disappeared, he could see a body had appeared in each one. Ernie keyed the communicator. "Transport was successful. Will provide details later."

He didn't wait for a response, knowing the others onboard would understand that his current priorities were with his new patients. He checked the heart rates of each. Both appeared to be low, but not significantly so.

After checking the life sign monitors of each, he trotted over to view each one face to face. The open pods were positioned side by side and each occupant appeared to be covered in dust, making initial observations difficult. Even though their facial features were obscured, Ernie could discern the identity of the humans resting in his pods.

He bent down over Jack O'Neill's face, studying it professionally. When no gaping wounds were immediately apparent, he shifted his gaze to the torso. Puzzled, he used one finger to rub away the dust from the strange apparel. It didn't look like the usual uniform favored by his friend. Steel-gray was revealed through the streak traced by his digit.

An ugly suspicion formed in his mind, one that he had to answer immediately, one way or another. He brushed away more dirt from the clothing. When a domino-like block design was revealed, he knew his suspicion was right on the money. He pivoted and brushed dust away from a portion of Samantha Carter's clothing. A similar pattern was revealed.

"Crap!" Ernie keyed the lids shut on each of the pods and then ran toward his medical console. Once there, he moved several shells. The result was immediate when twin shifts of white light engulfed the two pods. When the lights had gone, so had the pods.

'So far so good, Ernie. Looks like you caught it in time. The last thing this place needs is for some bugs to come crawling all over the place. And if I'm not mistaken, the clothing worn by our two friends were given to them courtesy of the bugs. Placing them both in the isolation chamber should curtail any bug problems for now.'

He checked his monitors. Both pods had arrived safely and the lids remained closed. However, the heart rate and respirations of the two inhabitants of the pods had decreased. That shouldn't be happening. He keyed several more pads on the console, searching for answers. The monitors continued to show decreasing life signs. Their blood pressure was dropping as heartbeats became more irregular.

'What the hell is going on with you guys? You are safe now. Don't you know that? Don't you dare go belly-up on me now, Jack O'Neill. I'm using contractions now. Do you hear me? We have a whole shitload of things to discuss, so you have got to make it.'

The readings on the monitors seemed oblivious to his entreaties and continued to plummet downwards. Alarms on both pods began shrieking as the readings on the humans dipped dangerously low. Both bodies began to convulse, their movements thumping against the sides of the pods. A discordant knocking sound filled the room as the noise was faithfully transmitted through microphones in the chamber.

In desperation, he keyed the pad that opened the pods. Ernie knew that if the symptoms worsened, he would require immediate access to both bodies in order to revive them.

Once both lids had retracted he picked up a shell in preparation for transporting himself into the isolation chamber containing the two humans. He paused to check the monitors just one more time, to his surprise heart rate and respirations were climbing and the convulsions had stopped. The alarms had stopped their strident warnings of approaching death. As he continued to watch in puzzlement, the readings leveled out at a normal level.

Samantha Carter floated in a white void, with no idea of how she'd gotten there. In an attempt to orient herself, she tried looking down at her body, only to discover that she had none. '_Okay, this is weird. Don't panic, Sam. Get hold of yourself.'_

Her mental chuckle rippled through her consciousness. '_On second thought, cancel that last thought. Kind of hard to get hold of yourself when there's nothing to grab hold of.' _

She instructed herself to turn around, to survey the void for any possible signs or landmarks she could distinguish. There was nothing but more featureless white nothingness.

Strangely enough, she didn't feel that she was alone here though. Wherever here was. Peering more intently, she felt a familiar presence with her. Jack. She reached out, and seemed to be on the verge of touching him, when his presence disappeared.

She felt puzzled, and the feeling grew into panic. Gasping for air, her chest felt heavy, like an elephant perched on it. Her lungs labored to bring enough air into their passages. She couldn't breathe.

Fighting for her life, she managed to gasp one word. "Jack!"

She was wrenched out of the void, but it still didn't seem real. From appearances, she floated in the air, near the ceiling of a room she recognized as belonging to the O'Neill II. From past experience, it looked like she was in one of the isolation rooms of the ship Infirmary. Ernie's domain.

Looking down, she could discern two enclosed medical pods with translucent lids. Without knowing exactly how she knew, she recognized the occupants of the closed pods as being herself and Jack. Taking more notice of her surroundings, she could make out flashing lights on the consoles and alarms blaring their warning of trouble.

She directed her attention to the pod in which her Jack rested. As if her gaze were a command, she floated directly above the lid. Peering more closely, she could see his body convulse. His face had a gray pallor about it and his lips were turning blue as he struggled to bring air into oxygen-starved lungs.

Jack was dying and she knew it. The fact of his impending death hit her in the solar plexus like a blow to her heart. The same gut punch she'd experienced when she'd seen him hit in the chest by that staff weapon, leaving her feeling sick to her stomach, filled with dread. She'd thought she'd lost him for good then, that he was dead, with no sarcophagus or symbiote waiting handily in the wings to revive him. That exact same feeling of overwhelming fear and helplessness gripped her now. She reached out to touch his face, but a barrier of some sort kept her from him.

"Don't leave me, Jack. You can't leave! How can I live with you gone, Jack?"

A part of her knew that she was dying too. Her body convulsed much the same as his. Somehow, it didn't seem to matter. She'd had a rich and full life, she wouldn't mind leaving the tangled mess she's made of hers behind.

'After all, I've always been the type that was more comfortable around machines and technology than people. Why else do I spend all my time in my lab? And as for my relationships with men, I wasn't kidding when I called myself the black widow of the SGC. Every guy who's ever shown an interest in me ended up dead. Except for Jack. And Pete. But Pete isn't here now and Jack is, as usual.'

'_Maybe that's God's way of telling me that Jack's the only one for me. If I wasn't so damned analytical, I might be able to believe in someone or something that ran the universe. Yeah, like that's gonna happen any time soon. Here you are, Sam, on the verge of dying and you're still analyzing everything, still doubting.'_

She looked down at her Jack, the man who was her safe bet, the one that promised he would always be there for her. Even if his promise had been only a figment of her imagination, she knew it was true.

His life was much more important than hers. Only one thing mattered to her. Jack was dying. That was so wrong. It just couldn't, mustn't happen. Metaphysical tears ran down nonexistent cheeks.

She screamed. "Take me instead!" Her lungs starving for air, she watched reproachfully as blackness approached her, as if daring Death to take her Jack. '_You'll take him over my dead body!"_

Inexplicably, Sam snapped back into the featureless void and knew she was breathing freely again, without constraint. More important, Jack was here with her. She couldn't see him, but he was here somehow, nonetheless. She could go on living now.

"What the hell is going on here, campers? You want the lid open? Is that what you are trying to tell me?" His long gray fingers danced over the pads of his medical console, instructing the pod to perform several examinations in the hopes that the mystery could be answered.

"First things first, though. Let's take care of those bug clothes for you." A stone was moved, and the open pods reappeared in the room with Ernie. The change was readily apparent viewed from Ernie's position standing behind his console.

Both humans were naked, their skins showing a pale contrast with the dusty skin of their face, hands, and feet. Stepping up to the pod containing Jack O'Neill, Ernie bent over him, searching for any observable abnormalities, and found none. To all appearances, his friend appeared to be relaxed and sleeping, belying the fact that he'd been near death only a few seconds before. Not mislead, he peered at the console of the pod and pushed several buttons.

Resisting the automatic impulse to close the lid, he turned to view Samantha Carter. Initial visual observation also revealed no anomalies. Her face appeared relaxed. He shook his head and pushed the same buttons on her pod control panel. Tests would be run until he solved the mystery, Ernie was certain there had to be a reason to explain the extreme reaction to the pod lids being closed. Since Fifth and his band of bugs were involved, it could be anything.

A beeping sound alerted Ernie to the fact that an abnormality had been found with the test results of Jack O'Neill. A noise corresponding to the sound emanating from Jack O'Neill's console clamored for the Asgard Doctor's attention. Samantha Carter's test results were ready too.

With a last glance at his two patients, he trotted over to his master control panel. After keying in several commands, he was able to view the results of both exams. The findings were identical. According to his instruments, both patients had unknown objects placed in their brains, attached to the medulla, control center for autonomic functions such as heart rate and respirations. Both objects appeared to be emitting a low-frequency radio signal.

One of Ernie's long fingers pushed a pad to increase the magnification of the affected areas. It showed the object was composed of strands of an unknown fiber intricately interwoven into the brain stem of each human. Peering more closely, he realized the reason for the unexplained convulsions and near cardiac arrest and respiratory failure of his two patients.

Entering instructions with caution, he attempted to dampen the radio signal originating from Jack O'Neill's brain. The effects on both patients were almost immediate. Heart and respiratory rates began dropping. Glancing over to the two pods, he saw both relaxed bodies tense simultaneously, a certain predictor of another seizure.

His fingers tapping out commands, he canceled the dampening field, taking note that the heart and respiratory rates stopped their downward slide and stabilized. Ernie's fingers tapped the surface of the console impatiently. "What am I going to do with you two? I can't leave those bug things inside your heads, but I have the feeling that if I try to take them out, it'll kill both of your asses. So, tell me, Jack O'Neill. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

The human male that Ernie addressed his questions to, remained unmoving and oblivious to the Asgard Doctor's distress. Both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were still unconscious and showed no indication that status might change in the near future.

His communicator chose that moment to come to life as Thor's face appeared on the tiny view screen. "The transport was successful?"

"Yes." Ernie bobbed his head slightly as he continued to divide his attention between the life sign monitors and Thor's face on his console. When he realized that Thor was waiting for more, he sighed.

"Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were both beamed to my facility without incident. However, there appears to be a slight problem."

"A problem?" Thor encouraged.

"Make that a huge honkin' problem. They both almost kicked the bucket a few minutes ago and I just figured out why." Ernie continued to eye the monitors. They showed no change.

Thor's eyes blinked as if startled. "They almost died? Why?"

"My instruments have detected a foreign mass inside their brains that is emitting a low frequency radio signal. When interrupted, their bodies convulse and their heart rate and respirations go downhill in a hurry. This occurred when I closed the lids of both pods in order to begin their medical treatment."

"I see." Thor blinked large obsidian-black eyes. "Have either of the humans regained consciousness?'

"Nope."

"Can the masses be surgically removed?"

"Their placement makes that doubtful and dangerous, although I would need to perform more tests to know for sure." Ernie's eyes flickered to the unmoving human forms lying in the open pods. "I will need more equipment, that is for damned sure."

"Such as?"

"A new specialized medical pod for starters. It would have to be large enough to accommodate both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter simultaneously. Once I have that in place, I can begin their medical treatment, but until then, my hands are tied." Ernie shrugged.

"That could prove . . . interesting. If this specialized pod is needed, one shall be constructed immediately."

"Now you're cooking with gas, Thor. I'll be able to give you a more thorough report once I get Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter tucked in."

"Excellent. I will expect you to contact me when you have additional information. We will meet in the Briefing Room at that time. Our other human passengers are anxious to learn more about the welfare of their friends."

"They've been bugging the crap out of you?" Ernie knew he should have kept his mouth shut, but couldn't resist the little jab at his Asgard friend. Plus, it gave him an excuse to use another contraction.

"Yes." Thor nodded and then ended the communication.

'_Yep, those humans have been bugging the hell out of Thor. I can just imagine it now. Daniel Jackson talking him to death and Teal'c looming over the Supreme Commander like an avalanche about to bury his little gray ass, demanding that they be able to see their friends. Immediately. If not sooner. From past experience, I am certain that I wouldn't want to be in Thor's shoes for all the tea in China.'_

The sudden vision of the 'Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet wearing Jack O'Neill's black boots proved to be extremely distracting.

With a mental shake, Ernie turned his thoughts back to the construction blueprint of the new medical pod. He moved several shells around, reviewing various options until he was satisfied that the plan would meet all his patient's needs.

He moved the necessary shells and watched with a critical eye as the new pod was built. With a flash of light, it materialized in his Infirmary near the individual pods that were already occupied.

Ernie hurried over to give the new medial pod the final once over. Although he trusted the expertise of Asgard technology, he had learned that it never hurt to kick the tires before taking any new equipment out for a spin.

Ernie ran his long gray fingers expertly along the smooth burnished surface of the pod. It was different, but that was the whole point of its construction. Easily triple the width of the usual medical pods; its interior was equipped with a silver-colored pad with twin headrests. Both ends of the interior contained leads that housed various medical instruments that could be attached to the human anatomy to monitor life signs and perform other necessary functions. A medical control console was on the side of the bronze body of the pod.

Satisfied, Ernie made the final preparations before it could house the two humans. Lights on the console before him flickered to life as a humming sound originated from the pod's interior. It was ready.

Ernie jogged back to his master console and moved the appropriate stones. Twin lights surrounded the individual medical pods. Then the lights bathed the larger pod and disappeared; that done, Ernie left his medical console and scampered over to the new pod to view the results.

Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were situated side by side in the single pod. They were both wearing nothing but the dust from that planet and their birthday suits. Ernie knew from experience that this situation would not make his patient's happy campers, but could see no other way to commence their treatment. With care, he ensured that the necessary medical instruments were attached to the humans, deft fingers attaching leads and tubes where needed.

Other than the slow rise and fall of their chests, the humans weren't moving, showing no sign that they were aware of what was going on around them.

'_Don't complain, Ernie. I have the feeling that it might just be a good thing that they aren't awake. Jack O'Neill would be so pissed, not to mention embarrassed as hell. As for Samantha Carter, although I am not as familiar with her, I have a sneaking suspicion that she would be less than pleased too.'_

'_Still, there could be worse places for these two to be in. Besides, I know for a fact that Jack O'Neill has had the hots for Samantha Carter for years. So maybe this could nudge that relationship in the right direction. This might give me the chance to observe human courting rituals. That would be just peachy and would be the crowning touch to my research on human customs. Providing that Jack O'Neill doesn't kill me first for putting him and Samantha Carter in bed together, both naked as jaybirds.'_

Ernie shrugged and then activated the lid of the pod. It rose gracefully out of the body of the pod and then enclosed the human couple residing inside. Ernie held his breath as he watched the readings from his patients. When the heart and respiratory rates remained stable, he proceeded with his medical tests.

Starting at the feet, a narrow white band of light traveled the length of the interior of the pod, touching the two human bodies within. When it reached their heads, it disappeared. Ernie studied the results. Both of his patients were clean now, no dust remaining to remind them of their ordeal on the planet. Besides, dirt contaminating his patients could hinder their healing process. That was a big no-go in Ernie's opinion.

The male and female humans were motionless inside the pod, and looked like they were sleeping. Ernie couldn't help but wonder what had happened while the Replicators held his two human friends captive. Whatever had occurred, it couldn't have been good. Considering that Fifth was involved, illusion and lies were probably used. He looked at his two patients in speculation

'_What fools these two would have to be damned good. They certainly aren't pushovers when it comes to separating reality from bullshit.'_

He studied the results of the scan and sighed. His guess had been correct. The objects residing in the brains of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter could not be safely removed. They were linked together like two Siamese twins. He'd been right about another thing too. Jack O'Neill was going to be so pissed.

Jack O'Neill floated in a featureless void. He didn't know how he'd gotten here but he knew that he wasn't alone. Sam was here. Although he couldn't see her he could sense her presence, like a lifeline tying him to her. It felt strangely peaceful here. Blissful even. No troubles. No worries. Part of him wanted to stay, craved it like a woman with PMS needed chocolate, the kind of 'I gotta have it and nobody better stand in my way' feeling. He knew it wouldn't last though, this peaceful feeling. It never had before and it probably wouldn't now.

Just pondering its possible absence made him anxious, afraid that he would lose his lifeline, somehow he knew that it really was that vital, that without the connection with her he would die. Seeking comfort, he strove to touch her, to reassure himself that she was really there. His hand encountered soft skin that was unmistakably hers and latched onto it, curling his long fingers around hers in a mimic of the embrace he denied himself.

A slideshow of images flickered across his brain, awakening memories of his recent past. He lived them again, as if he were stuck in some sort of demented time loop. Saw Sam's double, the Techno-bitch from hell approach him, felt her cold dead hands caress his body and tear at his clothing.

Bitter shame engulfed him as he remembered what he had done. What It had done to him. Once again, he felt soiled, dirty, and wished for a wire scrub brush to scour away the taint of her touch on his skin. His weakness had been flaunted before Sam when Fifth and his duo of Thing One and Thing Two bragged about their actions.

Contaminated and weak as he was, he knew that Sam would never want him now. She couldn't. She blamed him for their present situation and held him in contempt for his failings.

With regret, he withdrew his hand from her, accepting the truth. She was not his, had never been. She wanted Pete, not him.

Desperate now, he struggled to feel her, his lifeline. He knew he would drown if he couldn't grab hold, because wherever the hell he was had become dangerous. Lethal to his well-being.

That stubborn will to live gave him the strength to struggle against the cloying pull of self-pity and flagellation. It was the same doggedness that kept him going for nine days as he crawled on hands and knees out of the desert after that less-than successful HALO drop all those years ago. The one that should have killed him . . . but didn't. Nor would he die now, wallowing in a destructive pit of shame and depression.

Jack cast about, like a hound testing the air for a familiar scent. When he found his lifeline once again, he seized it with both fists, sure in the knowledge that to lose his grip would ensure his death . . . and Sam's. That was unacceptable. She was a national resource, too valuable to risk. Her welfare must be protected at all costs. He would not allow harm to come to her.

Inside his mind, he donned his flak vest and clothed Sam in the same armor. Back to back, they stood; ready to repel all threats to their safety. Together, they would prevail.

Utilizing their link, Jack discussed their options with her and felt a deep satisfaction when she agreed with his findings. Sam agreed with him, trusted his judgment. This knowledge warmed his cold heart, gave him additional strength for the struggle.

Sam and Jack knew they couldn't remain here forever. Wherever the hell here was. It solved nothing, left them vulnerable, and was potentially dangerous. They needed more intel, which could only be obtained if they were conscious. Alert. Alive.

'_Find the light. Go toward the light, Jack. That's how this game has always been played. Surely, you've been knocked out enough times to know that by now. Help me, Sam. We've got to find the light. I can't find it alone.'_

'_I'm here, Jack. Grab hold of my hand. I'm here. We'll make it, just like always. Together.'_

Whisper soft, Jack fingers touched velvety warm skin. Sam's hand. He felt her muscles ripple as she shivered in reaction, but didn't pull away. He took that as permission for further exploration. His touch lingered, lightly caressing her hand and fingers, as he memorized each bone, tendon, callous, and scar. Then he wrapped his hand around hers, gently, but firmly holding on.

Ernie bounced in reaction as he watched Jack O'Neill's hand move toward the woman lying beside him. When he grasped and wrapped his fingers around hers, Ernie was beside himself with excitement. However, when Samantha Carter allowed it and responded to his touch, his delight was doubled. This was the first time his patients had shown any sign of movement. This meant they were on the verge of regaining consciousness.

Ernie was a realist when it came to practicing medicine, be it on those of his own race, or humans. He could run tests on his patients until the cows came home. But, those results could not tell him the entire story. Only his patients could, but until they opened his eyes, he could only make highly educated guesses as to what they had been through.

The brain waves of both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were indicating a higher level of consciousness. The amount of rapid eye movement in his patients indicated they were both in a dream state. Based on those findings and the physical movement from both patients, he believed they would open their eyes soon. As for the exact time that would happen . . .

Ernie gathered his information and added it to his computerized report. He hated what he was entering though. At times like this, being a doctor sucked. His fingers stabbed the panel with unusual force. Ernie stood back to catch his breath and sighed.

The test results were irrefutable. And deadly. Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were dying, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it. He so wanted them to open their eyes so he could talk to them. Maybe they could give him a clue as to what had been done to them.

According to the latest test results, the masses inside the brains of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were growing, gradually taking over their brains. At the rate they were growing his patients would be dead in five to seven days.

Ernie was prepared for the briefing, but not looking forward to it, because he knew his news would not be received well by the humans onboard. For that matter, Thor had sounded less than pleased by his initial report. Due to the precarious condition of his patients, he'd decided not to attend the briefing in person. Instead, he would present the information via his holographic image.

'I am so not looking forward to this briefing. Thor will be pissed. As for Teal'c, well it's fortunate that my skinny gray butt will only be there in holographic form. That huge Jaffa is intimidating at best. However, the thought of an extremely angry Teal'c, with hair no less, directing his anger at little old me, well, the idea is downright scary.'

'Then there is always Daniel Jackson. He'll throw a hissy fit and talk my ear off, rambling on, listing the reasons why his friends should be awake by now and quoting the pertinent cultural references. Doing his best to make me feel guilty for something that's out of my control. As if that isn't enough, once he's talked that subject to death, he'll start droning on ad nauseam, arguing with me about why he should be allowed to visit his friends.'

'Did I mention that I'm not looking forward to this briefing? Jeez, Ernie, you're sounding just like Jack O'Neill, which is not a bad thing. Right? See Jack O'Neill? That's another reason you've got to open your eyes!'

The communication link beeped, startling Ernie. He punched the button with a savage jab. Thor's face appeared. The Supreme Commander looked as solemn as he felt.

"We are awaiting your report, Eir."

Ernie blinked. 'Well, here goes nothing.'

"Your report?" Thor looked impatient.

The view expanded to show the entire room and its occupants. Besides Thor, Teal'c, Daniel Jackson, Colonel Dixon and Colonel Reynolds were also present. All looked nervous and edgy. Teal'c was glowering. So not a good sign.

Ernie fidgeted, tapping his fingers on the console. "Yes, my report. I am not attending in person because of the condition of my two human patients." He raised a finger for silence when he saw Daniel Jackson open his mouth. Ernie was surprised when it worked. "Their condition is currently stable."

This time Daniel Jackson couldn't resist. "You said currently stable?"

"Yes." Ernie keyed in the necessary information with practiced strokes, knowing that it would be displayed on a view screen in the briefing room. "These scans were taken of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter shortly after they were transported to the O'Neill II."

"As you can see, they show that unknown objects were placed in their brains, attached to the medulla, control center for autonomic functions such as heart rate and respirations. Both objects appear to be emitting a low-frequency radio signal."

Everyone in the room went silent, as if they were holding their collective breaths.

Ernie continued. "I discovered by accident that when these radio signals are interrupted in any way, their heart rates and respirations decline, to the point where death is imminent. Because of this, both patients were placed in a single medical pod, created specifically for this situation."

"You discovered this by accident? Explain." Teal'c was looking increasingly upset. Ernie had the sudden image of the Jaffa tearing him limb from limb and gulped. Definitely not a pretty picture.

"Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter were placed in individual medical pods upon their arrival onboard our vessel. When I discovered that they were clothed in garments of Replicator construction, the lids were closed and the pods transported into an enclosed isolation unit for safety. Once the pods were closed, both patients experienced convulsions, decreased respirations and erratic heartbeats. Upon further examination, I was able to determine the cause for this. According to my tests, Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter are unable to be situated no farther than five feet apart without suffering the symptoms I mentioned before."

Daniel Jackson's eyebrows were wiggling. "Let me get this straight. Jack and Sam have some kind of object in their heads that won't let them get any farther than five feet away from each other?"

"Yes, that is what I said." Ernie blinked.

Daniel Jackson wasn't finished yet. "You said they're in a special pod now? Special in what way?"

"It was especially created for this situation and is large enough to hold both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter simultaneously."

Ernie paused when he heard several snorts from his audience. He'd expected this reaction. He looked around, hunting for the culprits. Teal'c's eyebrows were getting positively chummy with his new hairline. Daniel Jackson was covering his mouth, while the other two were openly smirking.

"Are Jack and Sam aware of the new . . ." Daniel cleared his throat. "Sleeping arrangements?" He turned innocent blue eyes on Ernie.

Ernie wasn't fooled a bit. "They have not regained consciousness since their arrival onboard, but their life signs are stable for now."

"So, in other words, they don't know yet. That should be interesting." Colonel Dixon didn't bother hiding the smirk on his face. "Can I be there when they wake up?"

Thor turned a censorious eye on the humans. "I believe Eir has more to add to his report."

Teal'c smiled slightly and bobbed his head regally toward Ernie. "Continue."

Ernie borrowed a page from the book of Jack O'Neill. "Listen up campers, the rest of my news isn't pretty." Daniel Jackson's eyebrows went up, completely serious now.

"My most recent tests indicate the masses are increasing in size. In addition, more masses have been detected in various other parts of their brains since the first scans."

"What are you saying, Eir?" Thor's black eyes didn't blink.

Ernie didn't pull his punches. They deserved the bald unvarnished truth. "They're dying."

Silence.

As expected, Daniel Jackson was the first to recover. "What do you mean? They're alive now, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are alive now, Daniel Jackson. However, the masses cannot be removed by any means at my disposal. At their current rate of growth, the masses will kill both patients in five to seven days. I am sorry." Ernie bowed his head. At times like this his profession sucked.

"I understand." Teal'c nodded, eyes somberly black. "I am confident that you will do your utmost to care for our friends."

"Thank you, Teal'c. I just wish I could do more."

"Can we see them?" Daniel Jackson looked like a puppy that'd been kicked. Hard.

"Not yet, however, I will inform you when this is possible. Their conditions are critical at present."

Daniel puffed out a sigh, and then nodded, saying nothing.

A beeping noise caught Ernie's attention. He raised one finger. "One moment please."

He studied the new readings. Heart rate and respirations were increasing in both patients. A groan from inside the pod grabbed his attention. A groan he recognized.

"They're waking up. I'll get back to you later." Ernie stabbed the button terminating his holographic image, then hurried over to the medical pod. Sure enough, Jack O'Neill's eyelids were fluttering.

"Crap." It was no more than a hoarse whisper, but the sound of Jack O'Neill's voice was sweet music to Ernie's ears. He noted that Jack O'Neill's hand still curled around Samantha Carter's. Cool.

Ernie opened the lid of the pod to better view its occupants. "Jack O'Neill?"

"Ernie . . .?" Brown eyes fluttered open and then shut again. Another moan came from the man lying in the pod.

"Yeah sure yabetcha," Ernie chirped.

Brown eyes squinted open, then fixed on Ernie's face. "Wha. . . ? Why am I naked . . . AND holding Carter's hand?"

To Be Continued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **"What Fools These Mortals" Part 4 of the "What Fools These Mortals Be Sequence"

**Author: **dinkydow

**Email: **Sequel to "What Fools These . . ." Romance, action/adventure, angst, hurt/comfort

**Rating: **PG-13

**Season:** Season 8

**Spoilers: **No big ones, just little bitty ones.

**Warnings: ** Violence and suggestive language.

**Summary: **Fifth still wants revenge.

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.

**Dedication: **To our fighting men and women and the loved ones who have to watch them march in harms way.

**Author's Notes:** Here's another Dinkyfic. It would also help if you read my previous "Ricochet" Series. Many thanks to Jolene for keeping me focused and being my beta for this one. Words in italics are the person's thoughts. You may have noticed that I went so far as to label this as a "romance". Please, don't tell my Mom, as she would probably die laughing.

Samantha Carter swam through treacle, as she labored toward the light, following Jack's orders. She heard voices that sounded familiar. Jack's and . . . an Asgard? She felt Jack's familiar touch on her hand. So comforting. So right.

She struggled to make out the words. '_Ernie? Naked?'_

Her eyes snapped open. "Sir?" she croaked.

Jack's words had been right on the money. She, no, he . . . they were naked and holding hands. A whisper of cool air wafted across her bare breasts and gave her the perkies. She couldn't help but wonder how it was affecting the male body beside her. Resolutely, she kept her eyes from straying sideways and . . . south.

'_Holy Hannah! If Dad or the team hears about this . . .'_

She wanted to shout her thoughts, but her mind felt fuzzy, not right. She felt Jack's grip loosen around her hand, but her fingers tightened, not willing to relinquish the comforting touch as yet.

She closed her eyes, a last ditch effort to avoid the inevitable surrender to the harsh lights of the real world, a world where his touch was wrong, a world where her feelings were wrong. Fraternization with a superior officer, just the insinuation of it had ruined many a military career, and she wasn't about to allow it to ruin his . . . or hers for that matter. They had important jobs to do, as usual. As always.

"Carter?" The voice was male and unmistakably Jack's.

She wedged her eyes open, and let his hand go, feeling bereft of comfort when his fingers no longer touched her skin. Alone. Again. Nothing new there.

"Samantha Carter?" Ernie's gray face swam into her vision, and then back out again. She closed her eyes once more. It was too overwhelming and confusing. Vaguely she was aware of Jack's raised voice in the background, demanding to know why he had things stuck into certain very private parts of his anatomy, for crying out loud.

Sam tried recapturing the earlier feeling of comfort and warmth and turned to a trusted friend, an old tried and true formula.

'_Newton's Laws of Motion. Number 1: Every object persists in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed on it. So far, so good, my Jack is certainly one hell of a compelling force though. Number 2: The relationship between an objects mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is Fma. That's a safe bet. Now for Number 3: For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action.'_

'_Holy Hannah, this is not working at all. Nope, this is definitely not a good idea, not when you're lying in the same bed next to a stark naked General Jack O'Neill, thinking about relationships, compelling forces, and reactions. Especially when your reaction is part of the problem. Still . . . Jack and me . . . naked . . . Together . . . Get your mind out of the gutter, Samantha Jean Carter! He's your CO!'_

Sam gave it up as a waste of time as her eyes snapped open She figured if nothing else, it would probably be entertaining . . . and diverting too. At this point a diversion just might keep her from getting a court martial.

Jack had passed the point of irritation and was nearing seriously pissed off. At times like this, Ernie reminded him of a certain Napoleonic power-monger. God rest her soul.

'No way I'm going to put up with ANYONE messing around with me and my dick, at least not without my wholehearted cooperation. Haven't I put up with enough already? What is with these damned aliens and their fascination with me and my reproductive organs? First it was the Techno-bitch from hell, and now Ernie. A man's got a right to some privacy. Right? Damned right I do!'

To get his point across, Jack upped the whine factor. "But, Ernie. You know how I hate those damned tubes! It's bad enough waking up naked, but I've had my fill of aliens messing around with my equipment, so if you don't mind, just bug off!" Jack's voice accelerated from whine to outrage as his hands slipped down to conceal his groin, fiddling with the offending catheter tube.

'_Damned meddling aliens, always messing around with my plumbing.'_

Ernie response was immediate. "For your information, Jack O'Neill, I put that catheter in while I was trying to save your sorry ass, but you can yank it out right now if it offends your dignity so damned much. In fact, if you move your hands, I'll help you."

Ernie batted at Jack's protective hands with his gray ones. The alien fingers felt soft and leathery, and left behind a telltale hint of cinnamon.

Jack growled. "Keep your hands away from me, you flat-assed skinny gray alien!"

Ernie withdrew his hands and stepped back from the pod with a sigh. "Jack O'Neill, what the hell is the matter with you? You're being unreasonable."

"Ernie?" Jack looked hopeful.

"Yes?" Ernie blinked.

"You're real?"

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I wasn't sure at first. Sorry."

Ernie cocked his head. "I'll never understand you humans, Jack O'Neill."

Jack's eyes widened. "You said 'I'll'. Ernie, buddy. You're using contractions. Sweet."

"It took you long enough to notice. Jeez, humans."

"Sir?" The feminine voice at his side drew his attention away from Ernie.

"Did ya hear that, Carter? Ernie's using contractions. Pretty cool, huh."

"I was talking about something else, Sir." When Jack raised a questioning eyebrow, Samantha Carter continued. "Ernie said he was trying to save our lives. Or yours, at least. But seeing as how I've been fitted with some of the same . . . equipment as you have . . ."

She gestured south.

Jack risked a quick glance to his side, his eyes automatically tracked her moving hands, and then hastily averted his eyes as he realized what she was referring to . . . and that she was naked. Just like he was. '_Oy! I'd always figured Carter was a natural blonde, now I really do know for sure.'_

He decided that her blonde hair went well with the blush that was creeping up her neck and into her face.

Jack kept his eyes trained away from Carter; his mind was already filling in the blanks, so to speak. "Could we get some pants or blankets here? We're going to catch our deaths."

"Not to mention what Samantha Carter will do to you if she catches you peeking." Ernie handed over two blankets, which were grabbed out of his hands by Jack.

He draped one over his lap as he slid the other one over to Carter, a hard task to do without actually looking at the intended target. Jack so didn't want to risk pissing her off though, at least not while he was so . . . exposed. Not to mention vulnerable.

Jack patted his blanket into place. "What was this about saving our asses?" He turned when he heard Sam's feminine sigh of exasperation beside him. "Hey, I was getting to it." He turned his eyes back on Ernie who was fidgeting, never a good sign.

He tried propping his arm underneath him, in preparation to sitting up. When pain spiked through his head, he let himself slump back onto the bed. He shut his eyes for a moment, willing the sudden dizziness to pass. When it didn't, he sighed in frustration.

"Crap!" He rubbed one hand over his forehead in a vain attempt to massage away the pain.

"Sir?" Jack said nothing, just winced, and then turned his head slightly to acknowledge her concerned hand on his arm.

"Ernie?" Carter's voice sounded worried.

"That's part of what I need to talk to you about." Seeing that he had their attention, he continued. "According to my tests, masses of some type were placed inside your brains. Soon after you were both beamed aboard, I discovered that you couldn't be separated without going into cardiac failure, so I had a special medical pod made that would accommodate both of you at the same time."

"Wait a minute, Ernie. Slow down. What are you talking about?" Jack asked as he peeked out from under the arm he'd thrown across his eyes.

"I had to place both of you inside the same medical pod because those masses are emitting a radio signal, and when anything interrupts it, you both go into convulsions. As if that weren't bad enough, it causes erratic heartbeats. In short, when you're separated, you die."

Jack looked at Carter and she shrugged. '_That would certainly explain the weird connection I have with Carter now. I have the feeling she can sense it too. And the handholding bit, that was a little . . . unusual for us both. Well, Jack O'Neill, this is just peachy. Here you are lying in bed beside Carter, the stuff of your wildest wet dreams. Now Ernie says we're inseparable. That we'll die if we get too far apart. No doubt about it, Bug Boy has a really sick sense of humor. I'll bet he's laughing his ass off right about now. Speaking of bugs, where are they?'_

"You blew up those Bugs, didn't you?" Jack asked changing the subject. When Ernie looked away, he asked again. "Those bug people, you did disintegrate their mechanical little asses, didn't you?"

"No, Jack. Fifth got away from us." Ernie looked apologetic.

"Fifth got away?" Sam looked at Jack and then away again and shuddered. He noted she turned a little pale too.

"What about the others?" Jack was getting nervous. It showed when the regular beeps from his heart monitor increased in frequency. Sam's monitor echoed his, a mechanical duet of distress.

Ernie looked puzzled. "What others?"

Jack opened his mouth to talk, and then shut it and shook his head. "It's a long story, Ernie."

"I think maybe I'd better get Thor on the horn, sounds like he needs to hear this too." Ernie trotted over to his master console.

"Yeah, sure." In an effort to calm himself, Jack took a breath. As before, Sam mirrored his response. "That would be a good idea. Sounds like we need to start comparing notes."

Ernie had already keyed the microphone. "Thor?"

Thor's face appeared on the view screen. "Yes?"

"My patients have some questions and some vital information to impart. It would be most beneficial if you were here."

Ernie heard voices in the background. "Jack and Sam are awake? We want to see them." It sounded like Daniel Jackson.

Ernie responded. "My patients are not yet ready for visitors. I will only allow Thor."

Thor turned his head toward the unseen voices and then looked straight at Ernie. "I will arrive shortly."

Jack closed his eyes. His head still hurt. '_Wait a minute, if Fifth wasn't destroyed, then were we really rescued? How can I know for sure if this is really Ernie or some sort of mechanical puppet dreamed up by Bug Boy?'_

While Ernie didn't have the distinctive odor he'd associated with his female companion, he did have one of his own. Jack guessed that was one of the things that had attracted him to Ernie in the first place. Every time he was around the little alien, he had flashbacks to his Grandma's homemade apple pie. Thor's, on the other hand reminded him more of sage . . . and Grandma's Thanksgiving turkeys.

The recent memory of Ernie's leathery fingers brushing against his hands brought to mind the accompanying scent of cinnamon. That clue alone convinced O'Neill that Ernie and their rescue was the real deal, not some illusion whipped up by Bug Boy and his merry duo of Thing One and Thing Two.

Jack tested the air. '_That's cinnamon all right. So this must be the real thing. For whatever reason, those bugs never got that part right when they did their illusion bit. Probably because they don't get into eating or how things smell like us flesh and blood types. Although when you consider that for a bug the yummy main course consisted of bulkhead of spaceship washed down with a WD-40 chaser, their disregard for these senses was really understandable.'_

Jack turned his head toward Carter and smiled reassuringly. "I think they're real, at least they smell like the real thing."

Carter nodded and sighed. "Thanks, I was wondering about that myself."

Thor chose that moment to appear in a white flash of light. As soon as Jack caught sight of him, he tested his hypothesis and sniffed. Yep, the pungent smell of sage.

"Thor, buddy. Good to see you again." Jack smiled.

Ernie shot an admonishing glare at the Supreme Commander. "I must request that both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter refrain from undue excitement, Thor. Their systems are not able to handle additional stress at the moment."

"I understand, Eir." Thor nodded and then shuffled over to stand beside the medical pod.

Thor wasted no time in getting to the point. "What can you tell us of your captors?"

Jack turned to Sam and raised a questioning eyebrow. Sam shrugged and then nodded her agreement.

"As you probably already guessed, it was Fifth who shanghaied our asses and dragged us over to his little den of inequity. What you don't know is that Fifth is no longer alone." Thor and Ernie exchanged exasperated glances. "By that I mean that Fifth has been playing around with his tinker toys and his latest creations are more bug people who just happen to look like Carter and myself."

Jack's bombshell produced startled looks on the faces of his Asgard audience.

'_If you think you're surprised, you should try waking up to see it like I did. Welcome to my nightmare, folks.'_

"Fifth produced Replicator versions of yourself and Samantha Carter?" Thor stared impassively down at Jack.

"Yeah, sure yabetcha. If you think you're surprised, you should try waking up to see a bug person who looks like your evil twin. Very creepy. Right, Carter?" Jack turned his head to look at her, trying to gauge her reaction to this whole mess. Judging by the furrows on her forehead, she was deep in thought, a typical response for her.

"What? Oh, sorry, Sir. I was thinking." She gave him a frown in response to his knowing smirk. "Why do you suppose Fifth let us go? According to what he told me, his primary motive was revenge. I mean, Fifth could've taken us with him when he left. Right?" Jack nodded. "So why didn't he?"

"I don't know." Jack looked back up to see Ernie and Thor exchange looks. "There's something you haven't told us. Right? So come on guys, spill it. What aren't you telling us?"

"It would be my guess that Fifth left you behind because he'd gotten what he wanted." Ernie paused and then continued when Jack and Sam nodded. "What I mean is that Fifth placed masses inside both your brains that not only limit your ability to function, they are also increasing in size."

"And?" Jack snapped impatiently.

"At their current rate of growth I estimate that you will not live longer than five to seven days. I'm sorry."

The other shoe had dropped. Jack took some time to consider the information he'd just been given, Fifth had sentenced Carter and himself to a slow death. Crap. Still, when you thought about it, the news really wasn't surprising.

"So, what now? Let's consider our options here." Jack turned to Carter. "Give me your take on this."

"Sir? If you could give me a minute . . . This took me by surprise. It's not everyday that you've been told that you have only a week left to live." She shrugged and winced.

"What about surgery, Ernie? Is there any way you can remove or disintegrate these doohickeys in our heads?"

"Because of their placement, surgery is not an option. It would kill you both. As for disintegrating them . . . I'd considered that, but I'm not sure if that would work either. The devices that are attached to your brain stems are placed in such a way so that their removal will result in your immediate death. Ironically, the only thing that is keeping you alive right now are those things inside your heads." Ernie shook his head, clearly not happy with his verdict.

"I had wondered if the Ancients' device could be modified to nullify the effects of the masses inside your heads. However, it would seem that this was a false hope." Thor looked down at Jack and then at Carter.

Ernie nodded. "It would be much too dangerous to test this theory because if you fail, my patients would die."

Carter responded. "This all makes sense in a twisted way, Sir. Fifth said he kidnapped us because he wanted revenge for his betrayal. I guess now we know why they left us back there when they made their escape. They didn't need us anymore because they knew we wouldn't live much longer anyway."

Jack rubbed his eyes with both fists before huffing out a breath in frustration. "I refuse to just roll over and die on anybody, especially for those damned bug people. There's got to be another way, something we can do to fight this thing."

"I'm open for suggestions." Ernie looked down at his human friends and then at Thor.

Jack levered himself up into a sitting position, the wince on his face telling of his headache. With one hand he held the blanket in place around his midsection, and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other.

"Sounds like we could use a brain storm session to plan out some sort of strategy to beat this. So, how's about you get us some clothes so we can join in on the party. Maybe there'll be cake." He smiled. "Ernie? Some pants would be nice . . . Now?" He turned to smirk at Carter and then shot her a genuine grin when he saw that she was also sitting up.

He patted his groin, and then raised his eyebrow as he looked at Ernie. "And another thing . . . Our plumbing works just fine, so if you don't mind?"

An hour later found Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter joining the rest of their friends in the briefing room. The reunion had been . . . emotional. Ernie was overjoyed and had taken copious notes. He now had so much more information to add to his studies of human communication.

After supplying his two patients with clothing, Ernie had expected them to be more cooperative about his concerns for their medical condition. He'd been reluctant to allow his two human patients out of his Infirmary, but they had been quite vocally insistent. Ernie now had an intimate knowledge of suggestions that seemed anatomically impossible, courtesy of Jack O'Neill, and resolved to test his theories at the soonest possible moment.

'Jack O'Neill's suggestion to 'screw you' and 'stick your head up your ass' seemed amusing, but I still haven't been able to figure out how this would be accomplished. Computer simulations might supply the answer, but I have my doubts about that. I admit this might have to be added to the unanswered mysteries about humans and Jack O'Neill. Perhaps someone from the Asgard Council might adopt this project, as I will have no time to spare in the coming days, not when I have to ride herd on Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. They're as difficult to manage as herding cats.'

'Although I have more experience in deciphering the colorful human colloquialisms, and suspect those suggestions were probably meant as metaphors, it might be a real hoot to suggest that another member of the Council study these suggestions. Some of the more stuffy members have indicated that they would be interested in this sort of project. Oh, Ernie, you are evil to even think of such a thing. Jack O'Neill would be so proud of you. You're beginning to sound just like him, which is not so bad. Right?'

'I can't help but wonder about Jack O'Neill's extreme reaction to the catheter though, along with his accusations about aliens messing with him. Just what did happen to him? Will he even tell me? Chances are good that I'll have to trick him into telling me the truth. The combination of his need for privacy and his ingrained reluctance to talk of any abuse he might have endured will make it doubly hard for him to reveal what happened. Maybe Samantha Carter knows, perhaps I could get some intel out of her.'

Food and beverages had been supplied and a buffet style lunch had been set up in a corner of the briefing room. Ernie had suggested this as the laboratory results had shown that his two human patients hadn't eaten or drank anything since their abduction.

With the help of Colonel Dixon, several items to tempt the hungry palate had been rustled up. The father of five had said he had experience in dealing with temperamental and finicky eaters so had been put in charge of the meal. He'd rummaged through the supplies provided by the SGC and even had a cake for Jack O'Neill, chocolate with butter cream icing. Ernie had stuck his finger in the frosting and found it delicious. An unfortunate side effect of the frosting had him bouncing in place in his chair.

Monitors had been attached to both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter while they were still in the Infirmary so Ernie could spot any problems before they got too serious. He'd put his foot down to any strenuous exercise for his patients due to their continuing problems with an irregular heartbeat and had beamed them over to the briefing room together. He sat next to them, watching as Daniel Jackson and Teal'c served as waiters for their two friends.

Ernie had already quashed the idea of serving coffee or any other stimulants to Jack O'Neill and had his doubts about the chocolate cake, but decided that he'd allow them that. Samantha Carter seemed overly interested in the chocolate and Ernie resolved to corner her and ask about this need of hers at the next opportunity.

In fact all the male humans seemed quite reluctant to disagree with her when she announced that she needed her chocolate fix. Even now she was chewing a chocolate candy bar with a look of sheer bliss on her face. As for Jack O'Neill, he was stuffing cake and ice cream into his mouth as fast as he could.

Daniel Jackson was inhaling his ninth cup of coffee and Teal'c was sitting down to a plate heaped with so many food items that Ernie had his doubts about whether or not one person could eat that much without exploding.

Thor sampled the cake. "I do believe that this confection rivals my yellow triangles in taste."

Beside Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter choked on a piece of chocolate and began coughing. Ernie looked on as Jack O'Neill smiled sympathetically and handed her a glass of water.

"Are you all right?" Thor looked worried.

Samantha Carter cleared her throat and swallowed some water before answering. Her voice sounded hoarse. "Yes, Thor. Sorry, it went down the wrong tube." She lifted her glass, drained it, and gave the rest of the group an apologetic smile.

Thor opened the discussion. "We are meeting to discuss our options concerning the immediate futures of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. As you all know, the Replicators placed devices inside their brains that not only limits their movements, but as they are also growing in size, they are at risk for dying. Eir has stated that he is unable to remove them safely."

"While they are growing in size, their very placement also results in keeping them alive. It is for this reason that Jack O'Neill's suggestion that the bug zapper be used to disintegrate the devices had to be ruled out. It is quite a conundrum, one I wish I had never run into."

Jack O'Neill shook his head and drummed his fingers on the table. "So what it boils down to is that we have two options. Plan A would be to do nothing. The end result of that would be that both Carter and I end up pushing up daisies inside a week and Fifth gets his jollies knowing that he's gotten rid of us."

Teal'c opened his mouth to object and was silenced by Jack O'Neill's raised hand. "Now wait a minute. There is still plan B."

"Plan B?" Daniel Jackson looked puzzled as his forehead furrowed.

"There's always a Plan B, it comes after Plan A." Jack O'Neill smirked and turned to Samantha Carter who replied with a grin of her own.

"What is Plan B?" Teal'c asked pointedly.

"Isn't it obvious? We go after Fifth. He put these gadgets in our heads, he can take them out again."

"When the Replicator vessel entered the hyperspace window, we were unable to track them. We no longer know their location." Thor looked apologetic.

Samantha Carter frowned and raised one hand. "Wait a minute. If Fifth put these things inside our heads, wouldn't he want to keep track of us? He told me he wanted revenge. He wouldn't be able to get any satisfaction if he had no way of knowing how it's affecting us." She turned to Ernie. "Didn't you say that these devices emit some sort of radio signal?"

"Yes, that's why you have to stick close to Jack O'Neill's side." Ernie nodded his head.

Samantha Carter turned to Jack O'Neill. "Don't you see, Sir? It all makes sense now. Fifth must be receiving these signals too. There is no other way that he would be able to monitor our conditions. It would take the fun out of it if he couldn't somehow witness what happens to us."

"So if Bug Boy can use these signals to keep track of us, can't we use those same signals to find him?"

Thor rubbed his chin and looked thoughtful. "It is a possibility I had not considered."

"Do you have the means to check out Carter's idea?" Jack kept his eyes on Thor while he used his spoon to draw circles in the melted ice cream on his plate. Thor nodded.

"In the meantime, there's something else to consider. Fifth and the evil bug twins have our memories. They know how we think." He patted Samantha Carter on the shoulder as they exchanged glances. She nodded her agreement. "For all intents and purposes, they are US. Now, keeping that in mind, don't you think that they'd know we'd figure this out and track them down?"

"I believe you are correct in your assumption, O'Neill." Teal'c's dark eyes swept the room. "In addition, we now know that current Asgard stealth technology is useless when dealing with the Replicator threat. Witness the fact that they were able to detect our presence prior to our arrival, thus enabling their own escape from retribution."

Jack O'Neill slapped the table. "You're right on the money, Teal'c. The bugs can spot our vessels, but they took off when you showed up because they're still vulnerable to attack by the Ancient's bug zapper I came up with. That give you any ideas, kids? We don't call this a brain storm session for nothing."

Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill simultaneously grabbed the sides of their heads and moaned as their faces turned white.

A drop of crimson ran out of Samantha Carter's nose and dripped onto the plate in front to her. "God, no!" Her eyes widened as she took in the implications.

"Crap!" Jack O'Neill watched as blood spattered the melted ice cream on his plate. He looked up at the woman sitting beside him, almost as if he were communicating silently with her. As one, they turned to Ernie.

"Ernie we've got a problem here." Jack smiled apologetically and then slumped in his chair, head tilted to the side as his eyes rolled back in his head. Beside him, Samantha Carter's head was already lying on the table.

Ernie was already reaching for his transporter controls. "Ya think?"

A beam of white light surrounded Ernie and his two human patients.

An hour later Sam was sitting propped up on the double medical pod beside Jack. She watched in wonder as his fingers wove in and out of the innards of a bug zapper. Though she hated to admit it, she was impressed . . . and had no idea of what he was doing. She'd tried to follow along as he patiently explained the changes he was making to the device, but had finally given up.

'I never thought I'd see the day when Jack O'Neill could out do me when it came to techno babble. This time he did. Guess he's smarter than he acts.'

She wiggled as the heart monitor attached to her chest pulled against her skin. Ernie had attached one to her and Jack while they were still unconscious. He'd explained that their nosebleeds had been the result an inter-cranial bleed brought about by the growth of the masses inside their brains. In layman's terms, they'd had a stroke. According to Ernie, as time went on, these events would increase along with the accompanying headaches and irregular heartbeat. It seemed impossible to contemplate, but they were slowly but surely dying.

Ernie had brought them both up to date prior to leaving them alone in the Infirmary. While they'd been gone, Thor had continued the meeting with the other members of the SGC and had come up with a tentative plan. That explained why Jack was working on the hand-held bug zapper. He was adapting it so that anyone could use it. Since Fifth would immediately confiscate anything that could be used against them, that seemed like a good idea.

Thor had made some modifications to the cloaking device also. As a result, the O'Neill II could approach the Replicators without being detected. They had confirmed that a radio pulse was being sent to Fifth and were in the process of tracking it down.

Sam hoped they'd hurry, as they seemed to be running out of time. As if sensing her thoughts, Jack stopped what he was doing and put the zapper down on his lap. Then he captured both of her hands in his own; his brown eyes gazed into hers with an intensity that was frightening.

"We're going to make it, Carter. You've got to believe that."

Sam dragged her eyes away, not wanting him to see her fear. "I don't know, Sir. When I think about the odds . . ."

She felt Jack's fingers touch her chin as he directed her to look at him again. "I'll have none of that. Together we're going to kick those bug's asses, like we always do."

Sam sighed and lowered her eyes. She jumped when his fingers touched her cheek, caressed it.

"Sam, I wouldn't lie to you about this."

"Jack? They'll know what we're up to. And after seeing what they did to you . . . How can you face them again after that? Because . . . I don't know if I can."

She lowered her face again to avoid the disappointment she knew would be on Jack's face. She'd let him down, again.

"C'mere" He slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Sam's face burrowed desperately into his chest, like a scared kitten scrambling for a hole to hide in. As tears welled up in her eyes, she stifled a sob, hoping that he hadn't heard.

"Shh." When his lips brushed the top of her head, the dam burst, her emotions coming out in a burst of tears scalding in their intensity as they tumbled in rivulets down her cheeks to soak into his black t-shirt. Sam's whole body shuddered with her sobs as she wrapped her arms around his chest, grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt and holding on for dear life.

"I'm so sorry, Jack. Just hold me. Please, just hold me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam. Looks like you're stuck with me for now" He kissed her hair and tightened his grip on her shoulders, beginning a rocking motion.

Sam raised reddened eyes to look at Jack, but his arms didn't loosen their hold. He looked down on her and smiled.

"I let you down, Jack. I should've been stronger back there. If I had, I could've stopped them from hurting you."

Jack's chuckle startled her. "It's not your fault, Sam. And there's nothing you could've done. If I remember correctly, Techno-me had his hand stuck inside your head at the time. Between Fifth, his evil twins and the bugs, we were a bit out-numbered. Don't ya think?"

Sam nodded tearfully. "I just feel like I should have known how to stop them from hurting you. You've always depended on me to come up with a solution to an impossible situation, to pull a rabbit out of the hat. I try so hard to not to let you down, but this time I couldn't do anything, and I hate that." She pulled away from his chest and leaned against his shoulder, craving the touch of Jack's skin against hers.

"I'm scared Jack. And I hate myself for feeling this way. I'm supposed to be tough, not bawling my eyes out like this."

"You think I don't feel the same way? That I'm looking forward to handing ourselves over to Fifth and his tinker toy twins?" Sam said nothing, just wiped the tears from her eyes and shrugged. "Quite frankly, I'm scared shitless, but see no other alternative.

That doesn't stop me from wishing that there was one though."

Jack's arm tightened around Sam's shoulder as a shudder shook his body. "I'm scared too, and as for what that Techno-bitch did to me . . ." His lips thinned into a deadly line. "I want nothing more than to take that THING apart with my own two hands."

Sam surprised them both when an incongruous giggle escaped her lips.

Jack looked down at her in surprise. "No giggling, Carter."

"Sorry, Jack. I had this picture in my mind of you tearing apart my evil twin . . . and I just couldn't help it. Bug parts were flying everywhere." She giggled again and relaxed in his arms.

"Well, in that case, I'll excuse you. Just don't let it happen again." Jack smiled into her hair. "We can't have giggling in the ranks, now can we?" Sam sighed and then looked up at Jack.

"Sir? Shouldn't you get back to work on that thing?"

Jack's arm slipped from her shoulder as he picked up the bug zapper on his lap. "You're right, as usual, Carter. Time's a wasting and we've got some serious bug stomping ahead of us."

Ernie sat in the briefing room and listened to the strategy planning session. He alternated his attention from Thor and the small view screen in front of him. On it were the figures of Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill.

Ernie watched with interest as Jack O'Neill withdrew his arm from Samantha Carter's shoulder and picked up the bug zapper. He was glad that he'd had the foresight to record every aspect of his patient's treatment.

Their interactions would make an interesting addition to his research into human mating rituals. Now he just had to make sure that Jack O'Neill didn't discover what he was doing. Ernie knew that if Jack O'Neill did, he was dead meat.

Thor tapped the surface of the table, startling Ernie out of his thoughts. "My instruments detected the presence of the radio signals and traced it back to its source. As the transmission is two-way, it is highly probably that the Replicators' are exchanging information with these implanted devices. Because of these signals, we now know the location of the Replicators. Based on the information I have gathered, I believe that their vessel will be within transporter range within a matter of hours."

Thor looked at Ernie. "Eir, do you have any further information concerning the physical well-being of O'Neill and Carter?"

"There are presently stable. However, as time passes, and the masses increase in size, their conditions will deteriorate. Therefore, I have placed devices on them in order to better monitor their physical needs. Emotionally, they seem to have accepted the fact that they will be recaptured by Fifth and are using their strong bond of friendship as a way to cope."

Teal'c' clasped his hands together into a single fist. "Their strong bond will enable them to face their coming trials as warriors facing a common foe."

The Jaffa looked sternly at each face around him. "From previous experience, we know that Fifth will be able to access any memories from his captives by inserting his hand inside their heads. Therefore, I believe that it would be in their best interests if O'Neill and Colonel Carter are not privy to any plan we devise."

Colonel Dixon looked at Teal'c in disbelief. "Let me get this straight. You said those bug people actually put their hands inside your head?" He shuddered.

"Indeed. As improbable as it may sound, that is exactly what they do. It was a most distasteful and . . . painful experience. One that I would not willingly be subjected to again." Teal'c eyes hardened and the muscles in his jaw rippled as his lips compressed into a forbidding line. "O'Neill and Colonel Carter will need to rely on their combined strength in order to prevail."

Thor nodded. "I agree with Teal'c's assessment. O'Neill and Carter must not be aware of our intentions, as Fifth will immediately access all their recent memories once he has them within his control."

Ernie looked at the other humans sitting at the table. Their faces looked grim and their eyes cold. Teal'c looked deadly, like a black panther looking for its next meal.

"As much as I hate it, I have to agree with you, Thor." Daniel Jackson shook his head and looked around the table. "So what's the plan? How are we going to rescue Sam and Jack from Fifth once he has them again?"

"With guile and cunning." Teal'c swept his eyes around the room, as if daring anyone to dispute his verdict. None did.

Ernie sighed and nodded his agreement. "Yeah sure yabetcha."

Tick.

'_All was dark, no light was needed. The Brethren were merged, as one, with no ending or beginning. The alpha and the omega.'_

Tock.

'Past and present had no meaning in the merging. They were one and it was all.'

Tick.

'Memories . . . sifted and examined. Possibilities and permutations . . . analyzed for viability and kept or rejected.'

Tock.

Time shifted

'_Alarm. Fifth/Jay/Ess/Brethren/All examined the change and mourned them who were/are/will be lost and could no longer merge. More would/are/will be lost because of the destroyer. He, who left us, betrayed us. O'Neill has the knowledge of the old ones. Ancients? O'Neill would/did/will not share this. The blasphemy of secrets was/is/will be repulsive.' _

Tick.

'The destroyers come.'

The knowledge caused a disturbance in the merging, moving outward like ripples in a pond. The Brethren groaned from within.

'_More were/are/will be lost. The Destroyer must cease to exist.'_

Tock.

'_What fools these Mortals were/are/will be.'_

The Brethren sighed and shifted as they separated, regret and longing in every movement.

Fifth smiled. "Let them come. We are ready."

Tick.

Tock.

To Be Continued.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **"What Fools These Mortals Be" Part 5 of the "What Fools These Mortals Be Sequence"

**Author: **dinkydow

**Email: **Sequel to "What Fools These Mortals" Romance, action/adventure, angst, hurt/comfort

**Rating: **R

**Season:** Season 8

**Spoilers: **"Heroes", "Lost City", "New Order"

**Warnings: ** Violence and suggestive language.

**Summary: **Fifth still wants revenge.

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.

**Dedication: **To our fighting men and women and the loved ones who have to watch them march in harms way.

**Author's Notes:** Here's another Dinkyfic. It would also help if you read my previous "Ricochet" Series. Many thanks to Jolene and Linda for keeping me focused and being my betas for this one. Words in italics are the person's thoughts. You may have noticed that I went so far as to label this as a "romance". Please, don't tell my Mom, as she would probably die laughing.

Jack put the bug zapper to the side. He'd finished making the alterations to it; the only thing he needed now was a pupil to instruct in its operation. He figured Teal'c would be an excellent candidate, except that the less-than-macho appearance of the weapon might make the Jaffa turn it down.

O'Neill closed his eyes in an attempt to conjure up the image of Teal'c advancing on swarms of bugs, wielding a weapon that looked like a mushroom, and blasting them to bits. After a moment he gave it up as a lost cause and shook his head.

Holding his head level and careful to avoid any sudden jarring movements, he stood up. So far, so good. Sam watched him from her position in the medical pod, as if unsure what he was up to.

Jack's bare feet felt cool against the floor as he searched the room for the rest of his equipment; he spotted it stacked off in a corner. He headed for it, determined to make the most of the time he had left.

"Sir?" Behind him, he heard the sound of feet hitting the floor.

"Not going anywhere, Carter. Just want to check out our gear." Sudden shortness of breath had him falling to his knees, forehead on the floor.

He heard a thud behind him, and then felt gentle hands fumbling at his shoulders. "That's what I was trying to tell you. The distance factor, remember? We can't get any farther than five feet away from each other. I suspect as time goes on, the distance will only get shorter." Sam gasped for air, kneeling on the floor next to him.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry 'bout that." Jack shook his head in an effort to clear it.

Ernie appeared in a flash of white light. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing out of bed? My monitors just went crazy!" The little gray alien stood with hands on hips, looking for all the world like an avenging angel of the weirdest kind.

"I just wanted to get my boots on, Ernie. You can't expect me to attend a meeting without the proper uniform, can you? Even if it is with a bug person. And then I have to have the correct accessories. Right Carter?"

She smiled. "Yes, Sir. And would the accessories include a flak vest, Bowie knife, C-4, and a 9 mil?"

Jack held up one finger in admonishment. "Ah! Don't forget the shades. Got to have the shades too."

Ernie shook his head. "I don't know how Dr. Fraiser ever put up with you two."

Sam supported Jack as he got to his feet, then he pulled her up. Turning dramatically, Jack put one hand to his chest. "Moi?"

"Yes, you. And don't try the innocent act with me, Jack O'Neill. If you needed something, all you had to do was ask for it instead of traipsing all over hell and back."

Jack smiled and turned to Sam, mouthing the words. "All over hell and back?"

"I was just walking to the other side of the fricking room, for pity's sake. You can't expect me to meet Fifth without a gun stuck in my pants. Can you?"

Jack clapped his hand over his mouth, as if he could stuff the words back inside his mouth.

Beside him, Sam giggled. "Well, they say the accessories make the man."

Jack glowered. "No giggling, Carter." He shook his head. "I was talking about my 9 mil and you know it."

Sam responded with a guffaw. "Whatever you say, Sir." She sputtered as she watched Jack's face grow beet red. Tears of mirth streamed down her face as she wiped at her eyes with one hand.

Ernie shook his head. "Jeez, humans."

"If there's no objection from the peanut gallery, I'm going to check out our gear." He turned and plastered a look of wounded innocence on his face. "Coming Carter?"

She snickered. "Yes, Sir. Got to check out those weapons, that's for sure."

'At least I got Carter laughing, even if I had to make a fool of myself to do it. She's been through hell lately, if I can get her mind off this mess for a few seconds by playing the clown, I'll do it. It's worth it just to see her smile again.'

Jack snorted and walked toward the gear piled in the corner, careful not to let his female companion lag too far behind. His head was still pounding from their recent close call, and his left arm ached.

He shook his arm and flexed it, trying to work away the pain. It didn't work though. He looked sideways. Carter didn't look too hot either; her forehead was scrunched up the way it always did when she was in pain and trying to hide it.

Jack stopped and put a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." She shrugged but wouldn't meet his eyes with hers.

"This Siamese twin gig is a real drag. Isn't it?"

"You can say that again." She smiled and shook her head. "Better get busy and check out our gear."

They turned to see Ernie standing behind them. "We don't need chaperones, Ernie. We'll behave ourselves, I promise. Right Carter?"

"It's my job to keep an eye on you two and make sure you don't do anything stupid that would get you both killed. So just hush up, you aren't getting rid of me yet."

Jack stooped over the piled up gear, then sat down quickly. A glance to the side made him realize that Carter was sitting on the floor too, her head between her knees, panting.

"Oh, my head." Jack groaned and copied Sam's position. The lights went dim and he felt himself sliding sideways into Carter.

In the background he could hear a shrill beeping noise. He tried opening his eyes, but it was hard because his chest felt weird, kind of fluttery, plus he was having trouble breathing. Ernie's face swam into view, but it didn't look right, wavering in and out of his sight. He caught himself straining to hear his heart beat and held his breath. When no beat came, he gasped.

"Jack O'Neill, look at me!" It sounded like Ernie, sort of, that is if he were standing at the long end of a tunnel and sniffing helium.

He conceded the fight with his too-heavy eyelids. The last thing he remembered with the softness of Sam's thigh against his cheek and her scent as he lost consciousness.

Ernie looked down at his two human patients lying side by side in the closed medical pod. Their faces looked pale and drawn for good reason. They'd almost died, again. Only his quick action had saved them this time, but their time was growing short.

He slammed his fist on the console and then shook it when it stung.

'_We've got to do something! It's not my nature to just stand idly by while my patients slip away from me. I became a doctor so I could save lives . . . and now when I need my skills the most, they mean nothing. Crap!'_

The console beeped. Thor's face looked at him from the miniature view screen. "We're ready for a progress report on O'Neill and Carter, Eir."

"Sorry for the delay, Thor. They had another setback and I just finished installing miniaturized pace makers in their chests to help regulate their heartbeats."

"Their condition is that dire?"

"Yes, it is. I entered the data into the ship's computers along with the frequency used by the power source for their pacemakers. That way when the Replicators take them . . ."

"Good. Your suspicions were correct. I was able to confirm that a signal was sent from their vessel to ours at the time of their collapse. In addition, the Replicator vessel has come to a halt and appears to be awaiting our arrival. It seems that Teal'c was accurate in his assumption that our current stealth technology is inadequate when dealing with the Replicators."

Ernie sighed. "How much longer?"

Thor answered with a question of his own. "How much time do you need to prepare them?"

Ernie heaved a sigh of regret. "They're dying. I can help them regain consciousness by giving them medication, but I'd hate doing it."

Thor looked away before replying. "All other elements of our strategy are in place. I estimate we will be within transporter range of the Replicator vessel in one hour. I believe O'Neill and Carter would prefer to meet their enemy with their eyes open. Do you not agree?"

Ernie sighed again in resignation and shook his head. "I hate it when you're right, Thor. I'll wake them up. They deserve that much at least. It's not as if I can do anything more for them, and their only chance is with those bugs . . . have I mentioned that I hate it when you're right?"

Thor bobbed his head slowly, blinked, and wiped a thin hand across his face. "Yes you have, my friend, and I hate it when I have to make these kind of decisions."

"I'll have them ready in fifteen minutes. Then you can send in their friends. I have the feeling that they'll want to see them before . . ."

"We'll be ready, Eir." Thor paused. "I am proud to serve with an Asgard such as you. Your strength of character serves us well."

Ernie stood there, dumbfounded. "Thor?"

"Yes?"

"You mean that?"

"Of course. I would not have said it otherwise."

"Wow, thanks, Thor."

"You are quite welcome, Eir. Now I believe we both have our jobs to do, yours being a most distasteful one. I will contact Daniel Jackson and advise him that your patients will be receiving visitors in fifteen minutes." Thor's image winked out.

Ernie shook his head in amazement. Thor, the Supreme Commander of The Asgard Fleet, and Grand Pooh-Bah of their Galaxy, had given him a compliment.

'Jeez, and I thought he considered me to be nothing more than a pain in the ass most of the time. He said I have strength of character. Wow. Will wonders never cease? I've got to write this down someplace so that the next time I get my butt chewed for blurting out something, I can remember this atta-boy.'

Ernie turned his attention to the humans lying quietly in the pod. Touching several buttons, he carefully watched the life sign monitors on both patients. According to their monitors, the respiration level and heartbeats were within normal limits.

As the injected stimulant took effect, their hearts beat more rapidly. He trotted over to the side of the pod and peered down at its two occupants. Noting movement beneath their eyelids, he nodded. They were in a dream-like state and would soon be regaining consciousness.

Ernie touched several pads on the console regulating their fluid and medication intake. The internal pacemakers appeared to be doing their jobs. He just hoped there would be no need for them in the near future. However, since the Replicators were involved in the equation, he wouldn't hold his breath.

Abandoning the console, he made his way over to the gear stacked in the corner. This had been Jack O'Neill's goal when he and Samantha Carter had almost died of cardiac arrest. If it was that important to him, Ernie figured the least he could do was to help him get what he needed. God knows they both were going to need all the help they could get in the coming hours.

Squatting down, he rummaged through it, picking out the items he thought his charges would find most useful. It didn't take long for him to locate two pairs of boots, socks and flak jackets. T-shirts were added to replace the ones Ernie ruined when he'd cut them off their bodies in order to save their lives. The pockets in the jackets already contained extra ammunition for their projectile weapons, so he left it there. A Swiss Army knife also found its way into one of the myriad pockets.

Ernie found a leather holster containing Jack's 9 mil, so he included it in the rapidly growing pile. The items he wasn't sure of, he left in the pile, figuring that if anything had been left out, Jack O'Neill would let him know about it.

However, Ernie had his doubts about whether or not the two humans would be strong enough to carry so much equipment due to their weakened conditions. Still, it was better if they made that decision rather than him. After all, he was remaining behind while they were almost literally stepping into the lion's den.

A groan brought Ernie's attention back to his patients. Rising to his feet, he scampered back to the pod, just in time to see Jack O'Neill's eyes flutter open.

Another groan, this one of a different pitch came from Samantha Carter. Ernie keyed several more pads on the control console and the lid retracted, allowing him to view his two waking patients.

Fifth withdrew his touch from Jay and Ess, the boundary between his hands and theirs stabilizing as he stepped away.

"You sent them an offer they can't refuse?" Jay smirked.

Ess chuckled, the sound bouncing eerily off the Replicator walls surrounding them. "Ya think?"

"The Destroyer still lives as does Samantha. They will both rejoin us soon. We have only to wait."

"Ernie?" Jack O'Neill rasped, swallowing heavily.

"In the flesh." Ernie's face came into view and Jack slammed his eyes shut again when he caught sight of his own reflection in the obsidian-black eyeball.

He heard Sam's hoarse voice beside him. "Jack?"

"Carter?"

"You both are suffering from arrhythmia of the heart and must take it easy for a bit. The stimulants I've given you should help you feel more alert soon." Ernie spoke softly, studying the faces of his patients. They both still looked pale, but some color was beginning to return to their cheeks.

"S' okay, buddy." Jack licked dry lips and made a concentrated effort to keep his eyes open. "What happened?"

"You both experienced erratic heartbeats and then cardiac arrest brought on by the devices inside your brains. I've installed pacemakers in you both to counteract further occurrences of this problem."

Jack turned his head to view the woman lying beside him and watched as Carter opened her mouth, closed it and tried again.

Her voice sounded dry and raspy. "Why?"

Ernie paused for a moment as if to collect his thoughts before replying. "I believe this last attack was triggered by an outside source. According to my instruments, the masses are increasing at a much higher rate than previously noted. In addition, a radio signal that originated with the Replicator vessel and was transmitted to these devices was detected just prior to your collapse. This was . . . unexpected."

"They're upping the ante?" Jack O'Neill grimaced. "Nothing like an engraved invitation."

"Sir?"

"The bugs are making sure we have to come to them. This was their way of telling us that we'd better get our butts over there . . . or else."

Ernie touched a pad on the pod console. The head of the bed folded, inclining upwards, so that its two occupants were given a clear view of their surroundings.

"Unfortunately, Thor agrees with your conclusion. We will be within range of the Replicator vessel soon. We believe they will transport you to their vessel at that time."

Jack turned his head to Ernie and looked him in the eye, his expression grim. "How long?"

Ernie shrugged and looked away. "Soon."

With some effort, Sam pushed herself up on her elbows, grasping hold of the silver blanket concealing her breasts with one hand. "I don't think he can tell us much, Sir. We can't know what they plan because of Fifth. What's the first thing he'll do after he beams us over to his ship?"

"Besides gloat?" He patted his blanket, checking that it was securely around his waist and then acted disappointed when hers stayed in place.

"After that, Sir."

Jack winced. "He'll stick his hand inside our heads and . . . Oh, now I get it. Once he does that, he'll know everything we do."

"Bingo. You hit the nail on the head, Jack O'Neill." Ernie nodded but refrained from his usual exuberant bouncing. "I picked out some of your gear that I thought you might want."

Ernie trotted over to his command console and manipulated the controls. When he was finished the pile of equipment had moved from the corner and had reappeared beside the pod.

Jack smiled. "Hey, thanks, Ernie. I was wanting some of our stuff. Don't know how much use it'll be against those non-breathing, smarmy, overly dramatic, god forsaken, cliché-spouting Bug People . . . But hey, every little bit helps." He turned to the woman beside him. "Do ya think I covered everything?"

"Yeah sure yabetcha!" she answered with a grin.

Jack ran his hand over his chest, feeling the incision where the pacemaker resided, and winced. Then, he lifted the blanket and grinned before letting it fall back around his waist.

"Hey Ernie. Thanks for leaving Dick and the twins alone this time." Sam looked at him with a puzzled look on her face. "No catheter." He smirked.

Sam nodded and returned his smile after peeking under her own blanket. When Jack tried to sneak a peek, she slapped his arm.

Jack frowned and rubbed his arm before changing the subject. "So, let's see our stuff."

When Sam gave him a dirty look, Jack gestured impatiently toward the waiting pile. "I was talking about our gear."

Ignoring them, Ernie nodded, scurried over to it, and began sorting through the pile. When he was finished, both humans were dressed in black t-shirts, combat fatigue pants, and socks. The only things left were their boots.

However, when Jack tried bending over to pick them up, he groaned and grabbed his head.

"Sir?"

"Sorry, just a dizzy spell. It'll pass." He sank back and rubbed his eyes. "Oy!"

"Jack O'Neill?"

"Yes, Ernie?"

"Perhaps you could use some help?" Jack opened his eyes and watched curiously as Ernie moved to the side to allow his two patients to see around him. His eyes widened when he saw Daniel Jackson and Teal'c had walked in the room.

"Hi kids." Jack smiled and waved his hand. "Whatcha' doing?"

Teal'c strode toward the pod like a mobile mountain. "We have come to assist you in your preparations for the coming confrontation."

Ernie moved off to stand behind his control console and stood back to watch, his liquid black eyes seemed to follow every movement and nuance.

Daniel smiled nervously, stuck both hands in his pants pockets and followed Teal'c at a more leisurely pace. Neither of them stopped until they'd reached their friends' medical pod.

Jack held up a hand and frowned. "Ah! Not a word about the double bed, Danny Boy, or I'll tell the supply clerk not to order anymore coffee for a month."

Daniel responded by nervously pushing his glasses up on his nose. "I hardly think that you're in the position to order anyone around right now, Jack."

Jack stuck out his chest and nailed him with his brown eyes. "Look at me Space Monkey. Doesn't it say General on this uniform?"

"Uh, actually, no. It doesn't." Daniel rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't?" Jack plucked at his black t-shirt and eyed it with mock disappointment. "Well, it should."

"Indeed." Teal'c smiled and picked up two sets of boots. He handed the smaller pair to Daniel, who smiled and carried them around the pod.

"I wish to assist you in your preparations, O'Neill, if you would allow it." The Jaffa bowed and held Jack's boots out in front of him like an offering.

Jack's mouth hung open. "What?"

"Sir, I think they want to help us on with our boots." She shrugged, peeked at Daniel, and then looked down in embarrassment.

"But, it's just my god damned boots, T. I've been putting them on by myself since I was knee high to a grasshopper." Jack growled.

"Indeed. However, at present, you are unable to accomplish this task because of your injuries. Is this not so?"

"Um . . . yeah." Jack studied his hands clasped tightly on his lap, feeling awkward and uncertain.

"Then allow me to assist you, as one brother to another."

Jack looked up, but saw nothing but respect coming from his brother-in-arms.

Sam nudged Jack's arm. "I think we should let them, Sir. I think they just want to help."

Jack scrutinized the faces of Daniel and Teal'c, but saw no hint of laughter or ridicule in their eyes.

"Well, all right. But if you breathe a word of this to anybody on base, I'll have you both scrubbing the latrine with a very small toothbrush for a month. You got me?" He stabbed one finger in the air in Daniel's direction.

Teal'c hoisted one eyebrow. "I fail to understand why the bathroom facilities would require cleaning with such an implement. Do not the custodial staff perform their tasks in a more than adequate manner?"

Daniel smothered a laugh and dropped one of Sam's boots. It landed with a loud thud on the floor.

Jack dropped his finger like a flag of surrender. "Love that sense of humor, T-man."

"I am not joking, O'Neill." Teal'c frowned, raising both eyebrows.

Then, kneeling down on one knee, he grasped one of Jack's feet and gently inserted it into one boot. After lacing it up and blousing the pants, he did the same with the other.

On the other side of the bed, Daniel was doing the same for Sam. By the time they'd finished, Jack's eyes were suspiciously moist. He blinked rapidly, looking toward the ceiling, then sideways at Sam. She sniffed noisily and wiped at her eyes.

When Jack looked toward Teal'c again, he saw that his Jaffa friend was holding his knife and pistol out for to him. Jack placed the gun in the back of his pants and the knife in his boot.

When he heard a feminine snicker beside him, he glared at her and nudged her arm with his elbow. "No giggling, Carter."

Jack turned back to Teal'c who was holding out a red Swiss Army knife in his hand. "Thanks, Teal'c." They grasped forearms in the grip of warrior brothers. Then Jack slipped the small knife into his side pocket.

"I don't know how I can ever thank you, Daniel." Sam ducked her head in embarrassment, then grabbed his arm, and drew him into a hug.

"Thank me later at the party we're throwing when we get back home. You'll love it. It's at Jack's place." He smiled as he gently disengaged himself from Sam's arms.

Jack looked shocked. "My place? Will there be cake?"

"Ya think?" Teal'c responded with a smile.

Jack carefully swung long legs over the side of the pod and stood. A noise at his back had him swiveling in place, with one hand against the pod, only to see that Carter was also out of bed and standing. He lifted his eyes and smiled, measuring off the distance between them. It didn't look too far, but didn't really want to take any chances at this point. The heart attack gig was definitely not on his top ten list of fun things to do.

Jack cocked his head to one side and waved at the intervening distance with one hand. "Carter, shall I come to you or will you do the honors?"

"Since you're closer to the door, why don't I come to you, Sir?" Sam sat back down on the pod they'd so recently vacated, then lifted her legs and scooted over to sit beside Jack. He grasped each of her hands in his as he aided her in standing next to him.

Her hands felt soft and warm and left a tingly sensation behind when she slipped them out of his grasp. The feeling was . . . distracting, to say the least, especially considering that they would soon be meeting up with the antithesis of humanity that had the power to destroy not only them, but everything that they stood for.

That thought washed away all the warm and fuzzy feelings that resided within his mind and body. Now only a cold fury existed within him, allowing no retreat, firm in his resolve to protect those he loved, even at the cost of his own life. He knew he would do whatever it took. Like the Roman soldier of old, he would come back with his shield . . . or on it. The leaden weight in his gut told him they were running out of time.

"Sir?" Sam looked startled and stepped back when she noted the coldness of Jack's eyes.

Jack blinked, brought back to the here and now by her words and actions. "What?"

"For a minute, you looked . . ." She shrugged and looked to Teal'c as if for an answer.

"O'Neill prepares for battle, as should you." Teal'c's face was blank, betraying no emotion.

"Sorry, I know about his Black Ops training. It's easy to forget about it until you're reminded about it in times like this."

Jack chose to ignore her comment, allowing her to see the killing machine that he could become when the necessity demanded even for a moment was something he tried to avoid whenever possible. But like Teal'c said, that part of him would be needed soon.

Jack turned calculating eyes to his warrior brother, knowing he could trust him to tell him the truth. "How much time before . . .?"

Teal'c acknowledged that trust by inclining his head. "Thor has said the Replicator vessel appears to be awaiting our arrival."

Jack's head turned to lock eyes with Sam. "So, anytime now."

"Indeed."

Jack's lips twisted in a half smile. "Ya got everything, Carter? Pack your toothbrush, assorted doohickeys?"

"Yes, Sir." Her lips curved in a smile that reached her eyes.

"Um, guys," Daniel had joined them on the other side of the pod and had his hands stuffed in his pants pockets again.

"Daniel?" Jack smirked.

"I just wanted to say . . ." Daniel paused and looked at the floor.

Jack quirked his eyebrow and then frowned. "Ack, stop!"

"What?" Daniel looked surprised, unsure what to say.

"Two things, Danny Boy." He held up one finger. "Number one: no good byes, only 'see ya laters'." He held up a second finger. "Number two: get your cotton picking hands out of your pockets. You look like you're playing pocket pool."

For a moment there was silence. Daniel's jaw dropped open as he jerked his hands out of his pockets and hid them behind his back. He directed his reddening face up toward Jack and closed his mouth with a snap.

"C'mere, Space Monkey." Jack stepped forward to wrap both arms around Daniel in a warm embrace of friendship, one hand reaching up to tousle the short brown hair in a familiar gesture. It took only a second for Daniel to respond in kind.

"What about me?" Carter looked at her two friends hugging each other.

"What about you?" Jack stepped back and slapped Daniel on the back.

Sam took the opportunity to step toward Daniel, arms spread wide, and a smile on her face that lit up her blue eyes.

Jack stood back, watching their embrace. "Hey Ernie. You getting all this down?" He spoke as if to the air, then turned his head and caught the look of avid enthusiasm on his Asgard friend's face and grinned. "Gotcha!"

Ernie bounced in place. "Ya think? Of course I am, Jack O'Neill. This will add greatly to my study of human methods of communication."

"Whatever." Jack shrugged and turned around when he heard the door opening behind him.

Thor glided into the room. "We are within transporter range of the Replicator vessel." He announced into the suddenly silent room.

Jack looked at Sam and opened his mouth to speak. Then, a brilliant flash of white light filled the room.

Sam opened her eyes to discover she was lying curled up on the floor in a room that was disturbing in its familiarity. Beneath her was nothing but row after row of Replicator blocks. She blinked her eyes against the bright light that allowed her to see her immediate surroundings, in an effort to give them a chance to adjust to its harsh glare. A whisper of air against her skin informed her that she was naked.

'_This crap is getting old. Just what does Fifth have against me wearing clothes. I mean, it's not as if he can get off on seeing me nude.' _

She shuddered at the memory that stray thought called to her mind. '_Or at least I hope he doesn't! Maybe it's a control thing. That's what Jack would say. Yeah, that's got to be it. God, I hope so anyway. Any other explanation would be just too weird, not to mention scary.'_

To distract herself, she uncurled from her fetal position on the floor and rolled over into a sitting position. Although the view hadn't improved, at least, she felt like she was doing something, taking control of an uncontrollable situation. As far as she could tell, she was alone.

She could hear nothing except the sound of her own breathing. Remembering the devices inside their heads, she rubbed the back of her neck, searching for a clue as to what had happened while she was unconscious, but found no incriminating scar or other sign that anything about her condition had changed, at least physically.

Needing something to keep her mind occupied, she got to her feet, curling her toes in an effort to avoid the irregular feel of the replicator blocks. She made her way over to the nearest wall and ran her hands up along it. When she felt nothing more than the blocks, she jerked her hands away and shook them, as if to rid herself of their contaminating touch.

Wrapping her arms around her chest, she shivered and walked over to the other side of the room in a futile hope that she might discover something different in its makeup and sighed in frustration when she didn't.

'I wonder where Jack is? If they took me, I know they had to have taken him too. Since Fifth seems to have a special vendetta against him, there is no way he would've left him behind. Plus there is the distance factor to consider.'

'Ever since they put those things inside our heads, we haven't been able to get too far apart from each other without paying for it, and since I can't feel any sort of incision, it only follows that they haven't been removed yet.'

'Wait a minute, Sam. They wouldn't necessarily leave an incision if they removed it, not when they can stick their hands inside your heads as easily as they do. Still, wouldn't I know if it had been removed? I'd know, wouldn't I?'

Sam caught herself pacing and stopped in place, rubbing her arms to dispel the goose bumps that sprang into being as the air brushed against her bare skin. She smiled when she realized that this was yet another habit of Jack's that she'd acquired along the way. She couldn't help but think that picking up some of his quirks and eccentricities wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, especially if it kept her alive.

With that thought in mind, she resumed her pacing.

"So, what's next?"

Jack started, looked around and then closed his mouth. "Dorothy, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

He rapidly took note of the next two details that sprang to his mind. He was naked and he wasn't alone. In this instance, those were both very bad things.

Standing in front of him were Fifth, Jay and Ess. All wore matching smirks on their faces; one particular trait that until now, he'd considered to be his own personal trademark.

"Ya think?" Jay folded his arms indolently across his steel gray tunic and waggled his eyebrows, then turned to Ess "See? I told ya he was smart."

"You had your doubts?" Jack copied the eyebrow waggle, demonstrating that the original was always better than the copy. "Jeez, I'm crushed."

Ess laughed and walked toward him, stopping at arms length. "Always the smart ass, aren't you, Jack?"

Jack took a step backwards and crossed his arms across his chest, trying to ignore the fact that he didn't have a stitch of clothes on and Sam's evil twin was giving him the once over. It made him feel like a canary . . . right before a cat added it to its luncheon buffet.

"Yeah, well you know what they all say. He who laughs last . . . laughs last." He smiled and clapped his hands together. "Yep, that's what they say, all right."

Fifth stepped forward and Ess gave way. "I suppose you're wondering why I called you here." He smiled, showing ALL his teeth.

Jack squinted and shaded his eyes with his remaining hand. "You mind tuning down the glare from those pearly whites of yours? Your teeth are so bright, I'm gonna need shades."

Fifth frowned and the teeth disappeared. "You're changing the subject. Aren't you curious as to why you were brought here?"

Jack crossed his arms over his chest again. "Actually, no. What I _was_ wondering is what you've done with Carter? I have a pretty good idea about why I'm here."

Fifth smile grew wider and took a step closer. Jack responded by risking a quick glance behind him before taking stepping back.

"You do?" Fifth turned to Jay and Ess. "You hear that? He thinks he knows why he's here." The bug twins responded with knowing smiles of their own.

Jack tapped a foot impatiently. "You guys finished over there?"

As one, the Bug People turned to look at him.

"Revenge."

"And?" Jay encouraged. The three walked closer and spread out, Fifth staying in front and the twins moving to either side of Jack. He responded by backing away until he could move no farther because of the wall at his back.

"Isn't that enough? Revenge is the oldest cliché in the book, by the way. I thought you'd figured that out by now." Jack tried for nonchalance that he in no way felt. He leaned against the wall, folded his arms and crossed one leg in front of the other.

One hand went to his chest when a rocking sensation distracted him for a moment. He gasped as his heart thudded irregularly, and then stopped beating altogether. His eyes closed as he sagged to the floor.

An electrical jolt caused him to gasp again as a familiar lub-dub rhythm from within told him his heart was beating once more. And there was something else . . . Carter, he could sense Sam, and he could tell she was in trouble too.

'Carter? I can feel her . . . fear . . . and pain? Where the hell are you, Carter? If these sons of bugs have hurt you . . . Why can I sense her if I can't see her? Could the thingies in our heads be giving us this weird ability to sense each other's thoughts? This is just too weird for me to figure out. Besides, I'm tired; I'll let Carter figure it out, she's good at that kind of stuff. Yeah, Carter will figure it out.'

He opened his eyes and realized he was lying on the floor, looking up at his inhuman captors. Considering that he felt like crap, Bug Boy looked singularly unconcerned about his welfare. In fact, all of them were smiling and looked like they were trying out for a toothpaste commercial.

Those Bug people were getting on his last nerve. "For crying out loud, Bug Boy, do I have to spell everything out to ya?"

"You? Explain things to _us_?" Fifth exchanged glances with his bug cohorts and they laughed, its echoes bouncing in a tinny fashion about the room.

Jack rolled his eyes and levered himself to a sitting position. Using one arm to prop himself up, he directed his gaze toward them, then sighed dramatically, which accomplished his purpose. Just as he envisioned, they stopped laughing and turned their attention in his direction.

"Revenge." Jack repeated as if he were lecturing a squad of cadets that had failed their exams . . . again.

"What?" Jay waggled his eyebrows and gave him the O'Neill 'dumb as a stump' look.

"I said the reason you snatched me back again was for revenge." Jack repeated yet again, enunciating each word carefully.

"What's your point?" Jay retorted.

"Kind of hard to exact revenge on a corpse. Don't cha think?"

Jack drew his knees up to this chest and rested his arms on them. He was getting his breath back and felt like he was only half dead . . . instead of death warmed over. Yep, things were looking better and better all the time in the world of Jack O'Neill.

Fifth smirked. "You think that's the only reason you're here? For revenge?" He shook his head.

Jack shrugged and said nothing. If he knew Fifth, the explanation would be coming soon enough. He didn't have long to wait.

"You are The Destroyer." Fifth's eyes glittered with hate.

Jack was taken by surprise and his head rocked back against the wall with a thud. Talk about feeling discom-bug-ulated!

"I'm . . . what?"

"You are The Destroyer. Because of you and your knowledge from the Ancients, you built a weapon that destroyed many of the Brethren. You have refused to share this information with us in the merging."

"You mean that Bug Zapper Thingy?" Jack schooled his features to show incredulous surprise. '_Now you're getting somewhere, Jack. You have something that they want and with that, you just might have some bargaining power.'_

Jack's mention of the weapon created from the knowledge of the Ancients produced an eerie effect. The wall at his back rippled, and the floor and ceiling seemed to shudder. For a moment, Jack felt like he was riding an ocean swell as his surroundings rolled and undulated. He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat and struggled to regain his bearings in a room where solid matter seemed no longer to exist.

As unexpectedly as it began, the individual blocks solidified once again, providing a welcome respite for Jack. He squinted his eyes to study the three Bug People standing over him. Although he hated his seated position and the psychological advantage it gave his captors over him, he felt he had no other choice but to remain where he was. As long as his heart continued to give him problems, he simply didn't trust his body to keep him standing. At least this way, his body was less likely to betray him by collapsing.

Fifth's face transformed its boyish features into a mask of hatred, as the three Bug People bent toward him.

"You are The Destroyer." Fifth repeated.

Jack held up one hand like a traffic cop. "Now wait a cotton picking minute. You mean to tell me that you've hauled my ass, not to mention Carter's, all over hell and back because you're pissed off that I stuck my head in that head grabber thingy and won't share the download with you?" Jack shook his head and laughed. "I told Daniel that checking out that head sucker was a bad idea. That's what I told him. Didn't I? You guys should know that, since you've got my memories."

Jack's tirade had stopped their movement toward him. Fifth straightened and looked uncertain. "I don't understand."

Jack rolled his eyes. "What I'm saying is that you're going at this all wrong. If you're after the intel inside my head, why is Carter here?" Jack kept his eyes on Fifth and crossed his arms negligently on his raised knees. "You don't need Carter, so you might as well send her back. You know as well as I do that she didn't get the download. I did."

"We brought her to insure your cooperation, Jack. You should know how this sort of thing works." Jay shook his head and smiled at Ess.

Jack shook his head as if he were critiquing three particularly inept recruits. "If you two know me as well as all that, then you'd know that your insurance policy is null and void. I won't tell you anything, no matter what you do to Carter or me. And as I pointed out before, you can't get revenge or info out of a corpse." He shrugged indifferently.

"You mean to tell us that you'd share this information with us if we send Samantha back?" Ess squatted down to look him over more carefully. Jack couldn't help but flinch away from her nearness. It leered seductively and then rose to its feet again.

"I've got what you want, so send her back. Once you have me, you'll be able to take all the time you need to get what you want. You and I both know that the Asgard can't catch you if you don't want them to. It'll just be you, me, and all your bug friends." Jack couldn't stop himself from shuddering.

"Your idea has merit." Fifth nodded. "We need to evaluate the new data. As you are remaining with us, clothing will be provided for you in our absence."

With that cryptic statement, Fifth, Jay, and Ess turned and walked toward the opposite wall. It melted around them, allowing them passage, then sealed behind them.

A moment later, two Replicators made their entrance through a far wall. They stopped in the middle of the room, and began clicking their mandibles together like mechanical spiders spinning a web. Out of these movements, they knitted a material that slowly grew into a tunic and trousers. When they'd finished, they left through the wall, the same way they'd arrived.

Jack felt reluctant to touch the clothing manufactured by the bugs, but as the alternative was staying naked, he decided to take them up on their offer. He gingerly crawled over to the neatly piled clothes and put them on, shuddering at the weird method of their construction.

He swiveled on his butt when he heard a rustling sound behind him. As he looked, the individual replicator blocks joined with each other to form larger Bugs that scuttled and whirred their way down the rapidly shrinking wall. They swarmed away from him and climbed up the walls, and then stopped on the ceiling, clinging there like oversized flies from hell.

"Sir?"

Jack's head swiveled away from his bug watch toward the voice. "Carter?"

Sam ran toward him and then stopped when she saw him sitting on the floor. She crossed her arms over her bare breasts and crotch and blushed. "Jack?"

Jack's eyes widened as he got to his knees and then to his feet. "Sam? It's me." He sniffed in the aroma that he'd grown to know so well. "It's really me."

Sam looked at him with doubt and then her eyes widened too. "Sorry. With those clothes of yours, I wasn't sure if it was really you at first."

Jack glanced down at his attire and then back up at Sam. "Oh, you mean these duds of mine? They were knitted for me, courtesy of Bug Boy and his merry band of techno-spiders. I think it's their kinky way of marking what they consider to be their property."

"Yes, Sir. As you can see, they haven't given me any so far."

Jack smiled. "Yes, I can see that." His smile widened until he saw the murderous look on her face. "Oh yeah. How's about I lend you my top?"

He turned away and began pulling it over his head without waiting for her answer. Keeping his head turned, he thrust the tunic in what he hoped was her general direction.

"Thanks. It was getting a bit chilly in here, if you know what I mean." Her voice was muffled and he could hear her pulling it over her head.

Jack looked down at his bare feet, anywhere else but at the amazingly half-naked and beautiful female body in front of him. "I was worried about you, Carter. Did your heart just about give out too? I thought I could sense your pain there for a minute."

Sam nodded. "Thank god for those pacemakers. That connection we have, kind of weird, isn't it?"

Jack smiled. "Yeah, it is."

"I haven't seen anyone since I woke up, Sir. What about you?" Her voice sounded worried, and caused his head to jerk up automatically. Then he realized that Carter's borrowed tunic didn't cover as much in the front due to her breasts, causing it to ride up higher in the crotch area.

'_Don't look, Jack. Oy! Too late, you looked. And a lovely sight it was too!'_

"Me?" His voiced squeaked, so he cleared his throat before trying again. "Oh, I've had plenty of company. Fifth and Thing One and Thing Two have been letting me know just how unhappy they are with the way I don't share my download with them." Jack shrugged, and then looked up into the air before laughing dispiritedly.

"Sir?"

"They call me The Destroyer. Did you know that?" Jack shuffled his feet as his hands searched for the pants pockets. As there were none, his fingers made a whispering sound as they slid along his thighs.

Sam walked to Jack's side and touched his shoulder, grabbing his attention. Her face looked puzzled and worried. "The Destroyer?"

"Yeah, The Destroyer. Seems they're pissed off because I built that Bug Zapper thingy and they can't get to the download from the Ancients even when they stick their hands inside my head." Jack shook his head and laughed again. "Kind of ironic, don't cha think?"

Sam shook her head. "Ironic? How so?"

"I never wanted the download in the first place. Hell, I tried to talk Daniel out of going to see the damned thing. Remember?" He sighed and turned away. "And now that I've got it, everyone wants it. Everyone, that is except me. And I couldn't give it away even if I wanted to. Thor made sure of that when he unthawed me the last time. I won't be able to convince the bugs of that though." Jack shrugged.

He didn't hear anything from the woman standing behind him, but he still knew she was there. "Still, there is one good thing though."

Jack turned to look at Sam. "Jack, you mean to say that Fifth wants the information from the Ancient download but you can't give it to him?"

"Yep."

"So what are we going to do?"

Jack took a deep breath. "They're sending you back to Thor's ship. I've convinced them that they don't need you anymore."

"What about you, Jack?"

"I'm staying here, Carter." Jack's eyes bored into Sam's blue ones.

"What?" Sam narrowed her eyes.

"I think you heard me the first time." Jack's eyes slid away from hers as he looked to the side. When he felt her fingers on his cheek, he started.

"Just like that?" Now that she had his attention, she let go of his cheek.

His skin continued to tingle where she'd touched it and he rubbed his face self-consciously.

'_Sam isn't going to make this easy. I knew she wouldn't be happy with this, but then it has to be done. At least one of us has to get out of here and warn Thor about what the bugs are capable of. Since they want me . . . or what's inside this head of mine, then that means that she has to go . . . and I have to stay . . . with them. For however long it takes to destroy every single last one of them.' _

'_She's got to see that's the only way this can play itself out. I'll hold out as long as I can until Thor can use the Bug Zapper on their asses. In the meantime, Sam will be safe. That will make whatever happens worth it. Just to know that she made it out okay and is safe. She's got to see that.'_

"Do I have to make it an order, Carter?"

His head rocked as she slapped him. "Ow!"

He rubbed his face that was still tingling from the blow. "Why'd you do that for?" Then he stopped when he saw the fury on her face.

"Of all the pig-headed, selfish, arrogant, self-sacrificing . . ." She paused in her tirade, her breasts heaving in a most distracting way. Jack swallowed as his eyes tracked back up to her face. From the look on her face, she'd noticed where his eyes had been. Crap.

"Keep your eyes on my face and off my tits, mister." Her face was red with anger. "I'm not finished with you yet."

"Yes, ma'am." He stuttered doing his best to keep his mind off the rest of her excited body, and how it must look and on her face instead.

'_Eyes front and center, Airman or Carter will do extremely painful things to your anatomy. She could do it too. Yeah, you should know, Jack. You're the one that taught her how to best disable a male opponent.'_

'_So do not think about how her breasts must look with their nipples sticking out through the cloth, and . . . Dammit, Jack! Pay attention. It won't help your case at all if you get all excited too. She's not exactly blind, and if you get a hard-on, she's likely to break it off for you with the mood she's in. Down, boy. Concentrate, Airman!'_

With that sobering thought in mind, he focused on Sam's face. Somehow, her fury had abated and she looked like she wanted to cry. He fished back in his memory to piece together the puzzle that was Carter.

"Carter?"

"Don't you think I can't see what you're doing?" Sam sniffed and hugged her arms around herself.

"Afraid you've lost me." Jack shrugged and resisted his impulse to wrap her in his arms.

"You convinced them to let me go by telling them you'd stay with them. Didn't you?" She raised red-rimmed eyes to his and he flushed and looked away.

"And if I did?"

"Why?"

"After all this time you have to ask?"

"I'm asking."

"I'd do it for anyone." He firmed his lips, but wouldn't look at her. He couldn't, not now. If he looked at her, he might see something there that would weaken his resolve, and he had to go through with his plan.

"But, I'm not just anyone. Am I, Jack?" Sam's fingers touched his chin and sent a deliciously warm feeling through his entire body.

His eyes found hers. "No, Sam. You're not just anyone."

His hand captured her fingers and pulled them to his lips. When they brushed her skin, she gasped, but didn't pull away. He gave up telling himself not to take her into his arms as she stepped up to him, and buried her face in his bare chest, sending shivers through his entire body. Her breath felt warm against his skin as she snuggled against him, running her fingers through his salt and pepper chest hair.

Jack bent his head and nuzzled the top of her head, breathing in the scent that was so uniquely Carter, storing it away for the bad times that would follow.

"I'm glad to hear you say that." Sam's words were muffled by the fact that her face was still against his chest.

Jack was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on her words as her nearness had the expected effect on him. "Say what?"

He just hoped that his trousers would be baggy enough to conceal just how much his body was reacting to her closeness. He really doubted that she would fall for the 'it's my sidearm' line again. At least if he still had his tunic, he might have stood a chance of concealing the fact that his dick was so hard a cat couldn't scratch it.

Her words jerked his attention from his groin back to Sam. "That I'm not just anyone else."

"Oh, that."

"I'm still mad at you though."

"Why?"

"For sacrificing yourself, Jack."

"For you, it's worth it, Sam."

"But, I don't want to leave you." She tilted her head up, looking at him, tears still in her eyes. "I guess I care about you . . . more than I'm supposed to, given the circumstances."

Jack bit his lip nervously. "Hell of a situation, isn't it? Us, the Air Force regs . . . and that other guy. You know I've come to believe that duty and honor sucks sometimes."

"But I want you, Jack. I've always wanted you; I guess Pete was just a poor substitute for something I couldn't have. And now, you're telling me to leave you behind? How can I do that? I don't know if I can."

"That decision's already been made, so it's not up to you, or even me for that matter." At Sam's questioning look, Jack continued. "Fifth and the terrible twosome adjourned to think it over. They should be back anytime now."

"Who'll watch your back if I leave?" Sam's tongue moistened her lips.

Even through the material of the tunic she wore, Jack could feel the hard nipples from her breasts poking against his bare chest, causing his own to harden in response.

"Listen, Sam. What it comes down to is that I've got something in this head of mine that they are itching to get their hands on. That Bug Zapper of mine has got them so stirred up that they're calling me The Destroyer over it. So one of us has to get this intel back to Thor, and since it's my head on the platter, then that someone has to be you. You know as well as I do that you'd make the same decision if you were in my place. Don't you?"

Sam nodded, not taking her impossibly blue eyes off Jack's face, which was so uncomfortably close to his. She licked her lips again.

Jack responded, lowering his mouth to brush lightly against hers. Their touch kindled a fire that raced from his mouth toward his belly and groin, his arms tightened around her and they kissed.

He moaned, low in his throat. "Oh, god, Sam."

"Please, don't stop," she ordered as her mouth opened and her tongue teased at his lips, requesting entry. He opened his lips and their tongues tangled, their breaths coming in quick pants. They broke apart for air.

"Wow!" Sam leaned against Jack's chest and he smiled into her hair. "I still don't want to leave you." She lifted her head to look at him. "I understand why you're doing it, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to go."

"I can live with that." Jack smiled tenderly and looked at her with longing.

"I hope so." Sam traced his lips with her forefinger and he nibbled at it.

A sound at their backs had her turning. With one deft move, Jack used one arm to sweep her behind him as the wall in front of them rippled and then the three figures of Fifth, Jay, and Ess stepped through.

Fifth spoke first. "I hope you've said your good byes, because this is where you get off, Samantha."

Sam stepped around Jack belligerently. "What if I say no?"

Jay shook his head. "The decision has been made. We send you back to Thor and we keep Jack. Or didn't lover boy here explain that to you?"

Jack snarled. "She's going and I'm staying. So get on with it already."

"Wait! What about that thing inside my head? Don't you need to remove it first or something?" Sam's eyes burned into Fifth's.

"It will be removed when we transport her back to the Asgard vessel."

"And Jack's? When will his be removed?"

"Later," Fifth replied. "It is time."

With that she disappeared, leaving Jack alone with three very unfriendly looking bug people. All that remained of her presence was the tunic she'd worn, lying abandoned in a lonely puddle of gray on the floor.

As Fifth buried his hand inside Jack's head he screamed and collapsed to the floor.

Sam reappeared in the Infirmary onboard the O'Neill II. She took one look at her surroundings and screamed. "No!"

Ernie touched a pad on his console and spoke into his communicator. "Her device is gone. However, according to my monitors, Jack O'Neill's is still lodged inside his brain."

Thor's image on the miniature view screen nodded. "Understood. I will await your signal before giving the order to open fire."

In the meantime, Teal'c had given Sam a blanket and she had wrapped it around her. Daniel stood back, as if uncertain what to do next.

Sam leaned into Teal'c, sobbing. She dried her tears with the back of her hand and took a deep breath to calm herself.

'_Too much is at stake for me to fall apart now like some weak-minded female who can't keep her wits about her. Jack's depending on me, after all, and I'll be damned if I'll let him down. Not now, and not anytime soon. Got to give them Jack's message.'_

Sam straightened and stepped back from Teal'c's sheltering body, gaining some strength from the fact that he'd been willing to aid her.

"It's the general. He's still back there with Fifth and god knows what they're doing to him now. General O'Neill convinced them to send me back so I could tell you that they're afraid of the Ancient's weapon and want the data from the download. That's why Fifth kidnapped us in the first place, so they could convince him to tell them what they wanted to know."

She took a deep cleansing breath and took a better look around her. To her immense surprise, no one seemed upset about what she'd just told them. In fact, both Daniel and Teal'c were smiling.

"Didn't you two hear what I said? Jack is still back there with Fifth. Why aren't you doing anything?"

"We are awaiting the most opportune moment to initiate our strategy, Colonel Carter." Teal'c waved a hand toward Ernie and his console.

Sam turned to Daniel. "Could you please explain just what the hell is going on here? I seem to be a bit out of the loop."

Daniel grinned and guided Sam over to stand next to Ernie and his console. Ernie continued to watch his monitors. When alarms started shrieking, the little alien looked up.

"It is starting, but his life signs continue to hold stable."

Sam's face registered incredulous surprise. "You've been monitoring us all the time we've been over there?"

At their nods, she continued. "Then why didn't you do anything?"

"We had to wait until they removed those devices from your brains. Until they did that, beaming you back would have tipped our hand and left you both dead." Daniel shrugged. "As soon as they've removed Jack's, the plan is to beam him back too."

"Oh." Sam rubbed her head tiredly. It was almost too much to take in. "So you knew when we both almost died back there?"

"If you are referring to when the pacemakers administered an electrical shock to restart your hearts, then the answer is yes." Ernie spoke without taking his eyes off the monitors in front of him.

Without warning, he pushed another pad. "Commander Thor, it has been removed. Operation Bug Duster may commence."

"Understood," answered Thor.

He pushed another pad and a light flashed in the room. When it disappeared, Jack was lying on the floor in front of them. He wasn't moving though. Sam noticed the difference immediately, their 'connection' was gone and she missed it already.

Ernie pushed more buttons, and Jack was transported to a waiting medical pod. It's lid hissed shut as the pod began to run its diagnostic tests.

Then Ernie turned to Sam. "You're next, Samantha Carter."

"What?"

"I need to check you out. Just because you're still upright doesn't mean a thing to me. So, will you go to your own pod willingly, or will I have to beam you over there? Plus, I'll have to remove that pacemaker since you no longer need it." Ernie flexed his fingers as if in warning.

"My own pod?" Sam looked almost sad.

'There is no longer any need for you both to occupy the same one. Yours is waiting for you by Jack O'Neill's." Ernie gestured toward the center of the room and Sam noticed the other pod, funny how she hadn't noticed the other one before.

"Oh, I suppose not. I'll go willingly." She walked uncertainly over to Jack's pod and stopped there for a moment. She bent over to gaze at its occupant. He looked so still, almost like he was sleeping. She traced the outline of his face on the transparent lid with her forefinger, the same one he'd nibbled on earlier. Sam licked her lips and was glad that she could still taste Jack on them.

"Will he be all right?"

Ernie studied his monitors. "Physically, yes. I plan to remove his pacemaker before he regains consciousness, so I'm in no hurry to wake him at present. As for his emotional state, that remains to be seen. As you are well aware, Jack O'Neill was prepared to die. Both of you have been traumatized by your abduction by Fifth."

Sam nodded soberly. "I didn't want to leave him there alone."

She looked up as Teal'c joined her. "He looks like he's sleeping, so different than the last time I saw him . . . back there. So much happened while we were together . . . important things."

When she saw how Teal'c seemed to be reading every nuance in her face and words, she blushed, closed her eyes for a moment, and licked her lips again. Sam trusted that her Jaffa friend would keep his observations to himself. God knew this wasn't the first time she'd unburdened her heart to him. Looking up at him, she saw the confirmation of that trust in his returned gaze.

Sam directed her attention back to the pod. As her eyes traveled down from Jack's face, she noticed he was missing his clothing. "Ernie? What did you do with his clothes?"

"I beamed them off the ship, of course, they were manufactured by the Replicators. All precautions must be kept to prevent their infesting our vessel."

"Oh." Sam's fingers lingered on the lid and then she stepped back and headed over to her own pod. She carefully sat upon it, taking care to keep her blanket from slipping. Once there, she moved her feet onto its surface.

At that moment, a bright flash appeared. When it dissipated, Thor was standing in the Infirmary.

"The operation was successful."

"You mean you destroyed Fifth?" Sam was so excited; she almost forgot to keep hold of her blanket. However, as it began to slip, she grabbed it again.

"I do not know for certain as the Replicator vessel entered hyperspace soon after it was fired upon by our companion Asgard spacecraft." Thor walked over to stand between the two pods. He looked into the closed one at Jack, and then looked at her.

"I don't understand."

"Without your knowledge, two other Asgard vessels were fitted with copies of Jack's Weapon and their cloaking mechanisms modified so that they might accompany us to our rendezvous with the Replicator vessel. Once you and O'Neill were rescued from harm, they opened fire with their weapons. We do know that the Replicator vessel sustained damage prior to its disappearance. However, we were not able to ascertain if all Replicators were destroyed."

"They called him The Destroyer." Sam looked soberly across at Thor.

Thor nodded, then turned back to gaze down at the sleeping form of Jack. He tapped the lid. "An apt title for O'Neill. However, I prefer ours. We call him the savior of our race."

Sam smiled when she thought about Jack's reaction to Thor's statement. "When will we be going home?"

Ernie looked at Thor who nodded his permission. "You journey home will be timed to coincide with the recovery of both of you from your ordeals, Samantha Carter. We could offer you no less than that, as you have once again placed your own lives in jeopardy to save others."

Sam shrugged and ducked her chin before lying down. She felt tired out, Ernie was right, as usual. They'd both been through a hell of a lot and she knew she had some tough decisions to make. Almost of their own volition, her eyes closed.

In the depths of space, Fifth fumed. He'd escaped, but only sacrificing many of his brethren. When he'd sensed their vessel disintegrating around them, he'd ordered the infected parts jettisoned so that they might make their escape. Ironically, Jay had been among those that were lost. Only he and Ess remained along with the surviving little brothers.

The Destroyer had lived up to his title. Because of him and his treachery, more of the brethren had been lost. They would retreat for now, but they would return later. Once their numbers had been replenished, they would return to obtain revenge on The Destroyer.

The End.


End file.
